One Year

Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, talk with me about it. Let the light of My Presence shine on this pursuit, so that you can see it from My  perspective. If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it. If it is contrary to My will for you , I will gradually change the desire of your heart. Seek Me first and foremost; then the rest of your life will fall into place, piece by piece.

I am the most indecisive person ever. I think a majority of this comes from my "people pleasing" personality... I dont like to make decisions that I feel will lead to someone being disappointed with or in me.

I am so indecisive that over the past 3 years... I have moved to and from Amarillo 4 times. CRAZY! Always running back to Abilene where I desperately wanted out of but always felt comfortable. This was pretty much my 6 month routine.

This March marks 1 year consistenly living in the same place!! YAY for ME! I am telling you this is a first since I graduated college.

I am not a person who makes decisions easily or willingly, I hate change. I literally had my house sold out from under me last year this month to force me into making a decision.

It wasn't clear to me at all... it just seemed like the easiest best way to go at the moment. I struggled significantly with leaving my mom and my grandparents. But without having a place to live and not wanting to commit to a lease (that is another problem of mine, commitment) I knew I could come back to Amarillo, walk into a great job and live with my sister (technically my cousin but we were raised like sisters and that is what she is.)

I was working at a job I HATED and while in the office called my current boss, got the job, and 10  minutes later got a picture text from Neeley of a house to rent that I have now called home for the past year.

Life moved very fast and I know that was completely God's handywork.. because if it were up to me I would have chickened out. 

Looking back on the past year I know that this was the absolute best place for me to be!

I would never have thought say 3 years ago that this is where I would be in my life.... sometimes I struggle with wanting/feeling like I need to be more accomplished or more settled than I am.

I am constantly told by people around me that they are envious of my carefree lifestyle... that I am not locked down to children or a husband right now and to ENJOY IT. I am told that it is exciting  to know that your whole life is ahead of you and you have no idea what awaits.

When I read verses like Matthew 6:33 Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well...

I am comforted and reminded that God has my plan laid out more perfectly than I can imagine and instead of feeling anxious about it I need to look for the new adventures in each day that he has laid out before me.

This past year has been the hardest and most challenging of my life but it has brought me back into a relationship with Him... I cannot wait to see what the next year holds!!