Finding the Joy

Today is one of those days where I am just struggling. I am struggling to wake up (my Starbucks hasnt helped), I am struggling to be tolerant of others insessant questions, I am struggling to find the motivation to keep my head lifted up and not think about crawling into bed, I am struggling not to eat the girl scout cookies on the bench in front of our office, I am just plain struggling to put a smile on my face today and find the joy that has been placed in this cold Februrary day.

When I get into these little moods I try and focus on something or someone that makes me extremely happy.  I usually always end up landing on the same person everytime. This sweet sweet person never has a day when her face is not filled with the most beautiful smile. She never looks at someone and judges them or thinks they are anything less than extrodinary. She rarely ever complains or expects anything but love from the people around her. She finds the joy in everything and everyone around her. She loves her enemies as her friends. She is fearless in the face of the devil. She is stronger than I will ever be. She shows me love every single day (usually at 5:01pm on the dot). She is the most incredible girl in the world!

She is one of God's most extraordinary gifts to this messy world. She shines the light of his message with her love every day. I am truly so very blessed to be counted among those that gets to be a witness to her joy on a daily basis. I am constantly amazed by her strength and unconditional love. She has taught me so much about how to LIVE life. She has taught me to not let others actions to get you down. To always always tell the ones you love that you LOVE them. To never be afraid to SHOW AFFECTION. She has taught me what real BEAUTY is. She has taught me look for the GOOD in everything. She has taught me to make time to be with FAMILY. She has taught me how to be a SERVANT She has taught me all this and she is only a teenager. I would be lost without her.

So today on my day of struggling to make it through the week, I am going to share with you photos of the girl who always always makes me smile and feel loved. I hope this will help you finish your week too!

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Thankful

Give THANKS to the Lord, call on his name;

make KNOWN among the nations what he has done.

Sing to him, SING PRAISE to him;

tell of all his WONDERFUL acts,

GLORY in his holy name;

let the hearts of those who seek the Lord REJOICE.

Look to the Lord and his STRENGTH;

SEEK his face always.

Psalm 105:1-4

It is a blistery cold day in Amarillo, I heard this morning that it is the coldest it has been since in the early 1900's. So cold that if you stay outside for more than a minute  you will start to develop frostbite on exposed areas. Unfortunately with this cold weather we did not get the snow that was expected. Last winter I was in Abilene wishing I was in Amarillo for the dumping of snow they got, closing the town for days. This year it is Abilene who is experiencing the snow. I am so jealous of my mom, Nana and brother who are locked in their houses surely cuddled in blankets by the fire. However I soon started hearing reports that Abilene is losing power in some areas causing the loss of some heating, that is not something to be jealous of!

I realized the other day that lately in my prayers I have been doing an awful lot of asking: Father please provide healing for so and so, please help me mend this relationship, please do this, please do that. I never seemed to fit in enough Thank You's or much less Praises to him. I am such a blessed person there is so much to be thankful for!

So today I am giving Thanks:
 I am Thankful for the WARM house I have with a working heater.

I am Thankful to have a job that I generally like with a wonderful boss.

I am Thankful for my health and health insurance.

I am Thankful for Cable television, so I can watch the Bachelor (lame I know but I am so into it)

I am Thankful for the wonderful women in my life who help me to be the best I can be and love me unconditionally.

I am Thankful to live in a country where I can worship God openly and freely.

Have a Wonderful Happy Wednesday and Give Thanks to the Lord!!!

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One Step at a Time

Well I have always always known that I am the daughter of an EXTRAORDINARY woman! Her road in life has not been an easy one yet she continues to hold her head up high and praise God for his blessings. She trusts in him completely. I have always been a huge admirer of my mom. It helps that we were the only two girls in our little family. I loved doing anything and everything I could to be with her. I still will go sit in her office at work when I am in town just to be near her.

As we have been trying to learn more and more about the spot on her temporal lobe I know that she has gotten very discouraged listening to all of the "Doctor Talk" around her. I know that she has sat in Doctor's offices and heard different outcomes and odds that were all but what she wanted to hear. I cannot imagine the feelings that she has had to harbor and deal with.

Today I was sitting in a Dr's office thinking about how I always jump to the worst situations in my mind. Immediately upon hearing the news of my mom's diagnosis I went to the very end of the road.  My mind could get away from the end of the road and I just knew I was going to be standing there alone in the end.

My mom told me last week that she has decided to fight this! Telling me that this is just a big bad monster on her back and she is going to do everthing in her power to fight this off and if it comes back, she said, I will fight it again and again. I was so taken back with the determination in her voice. She spoke with such strength and trust. It made me gain an entirely new perspective on not only my mom's diagnosis but my life in general.

I have forgotten how to take life slowly, it seems like time is flying by and I view everything in that manner. Instead of looking at each day I look at weeks, months, years in advance. Today I was sweetly reminded to follow God ONE STEP at a time. I view the huge trials that seem to be standing in my pathway and start thinking way in advance How am I to tackle this? Forgetting that I have the Almighty one who created the Universe beside me.  He will guide my pathway around the mountain or through an easier trail. And if he wants me to climb the mountain he will equip me with the tools needed to tackle it. He even promises to send his angels to watch over me and protect me. God is the one who created the pathway I walk, he knows before I get up each morning what I will face that day and he will never leave me to handle it alone. 2 Corinthians  5:7 calls us to "Walk by Faith not by Sight."

My mom is walking by Faith and not by Sight. She is trusting in the Lord to help her over the mountain should it come to that but is content to for now, take it One Step at a Time.


I have never been more proud to be her daughter!

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Crafties

I have really been trying to be a crafty lady lately. I have been so inspired by the super simple cute things that can be done with few materials, usually even ones that are around the house already. I had a lot of awesome Christmas crafties I wanted to do but it just got to crazy for me to get any of them done. For my birthday last week my wonderful family gave me some awesome crafting tools to get me started. I have this really awesome light I am working on right now. It simply a white lantern globe light that you fold coffee filters up and glue onto it. It has been a major undertaking and will take me several weeks to  complete. Since I am a immediate satisfaction kind of a person  I have taken to Mod Podge for my latest craft projects. Here are a couple of my amateur crafties that I have been doing over the past week. (This post is really for my Momma and Nana who contributed to my craft fund but haven't seen any products yet)

Supplies:

Scrap paper

Mod Podge

Round Tin (Michaels $2.68)

 My lid was not quite as clean as I wanted.... Practice makes perfect, Right?  My orginal plan was to melt a candle in the tin, however after being advised from my co-workers that the tin would get to hot I just put a glassed candle into it.

Once I get on a kick I cant just stop, so I went to Dollar Tree and bought cardboard round giftboxes for a $1 each. They did not do as well as the tins but they were still pretty darn cute.

I felt like I needed a little Valentine's cheer at work so I made this one to hold candy on my desk.

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This is the Stuff

I was driving back to work today and heard this catchy little tune from Francesca Battistell called This Is The Stuff. I have heard some of her songs before and really liked her voice. As I listened to the lyrics I was struck again by how faithful God is in showing me right now that he is always with me and to let him lead my life. I dont want to always write about my Jesus Calling message of the day but it is just so darn good EVERYDAY! Today it was talking about Trusting God... taking the higher road in life and letting him lead your life... not leading on your own understanding of this world or what you think it should be but resting comfortably in the knowledge that he has it all undercontrol. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding: In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make you paths straight."

I am a very independent person. I have a hard time letting people into my life and an even harder time leaning on others for help. I guess this stems from my parent's divorce at such an early age and me feeling like I needed to somewhat be the protector for my little brother and try to be somewhat of a stable ground for my big brother. I can look back over my life and count the precious few people who I have truly allowed to break down my barriers and come into my safe zone. I am still very guarded about things in my life, sometimes even with those I hold most dear. So for God to ask me to give up my own rational reasonable understanding,  my life planning, my walls to keep me safe and protected from what I fear may or may not be coming my way is a very hard thing to do. I hate being made vulnerable and that is exactly what he is asking of me. I was thinking about all of this last night and how I say... yeah, ok God I will "trust" in you but I am going to keep making my plans happen and persuing what I want and I am sure you will eventually want for me. Well today he told me No ma'am, You need to fully trust me and my plans.

Not two seconds after I read my message for the day Francesca's song game on and she sang these words...

 I lost my keys in the great unknown place,
and call me please 'cause I can't find my phone,
This is the stuff that drives me crazy,
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately.
In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm Blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've got to trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I might choose, But this is the stuff you use

Couldn't have been more appropriate for me and my little doubting self!


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This world is not our home

Today as I was sitting in a Life Insurance meeting (YUCK!) listening to stories about umexpected losses of loved ones and every person's need for life insurance, I was thinking how sad life really is. There is complete devastation around us everyday/ all day. Everyone in the room had a story of someone who has experienced some tramatic loss. I sat back thinking, yeah but "WHY LORD DO I HAVE TO  GO THROUGH PAIN." It was about this time that I recieved text messages from my Nana and Aunt Tammy to read my Jesus Calling thoughts for today, and yes I realize I should not have had my phone with me texting in class but atleast it wasn't while I was driving. So I opened it up to today's day to read this...

" GIVE UP THE ILLUSION that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties. This is FALSE HOPE! As I told my disciples, in the world you will have trouble. Link your hope not to problem solving in this life but to the promise of an eternity of problem-free life in Heaven. Instead of seeking perfection in a fallen world, pour your energy into seeking Me: the PERFECT ONE.
IT IS POSSIBLE to enjoy Me and glorify Me in the midst of adverse circumstances. In fact, My light shines most brightly through believers who trust Me in the dark. That kind of trust is supernatural: a production of My Indwelling Spirit. When things seem all wrong, trust Me ANYWAY."

Then I read John 16:33 and Psalm 112:7.  I have never read a daily devotional that has hit me so hard every single day like this one has so far.

I sat and thought how arrogant of me to think that I do not deserve to face trials and stumbling blocks here on Earth. This world is not supposed to be easy because it is not meant for us to spend eternity here. I have never been one to long for Heaven, I always knew that is ultimately where I wanted to end up but never just longed to go there. Now I know what comfort and peace must be awaiting me there, not to mention being able to hug my Grandy again.

Through this time of trial which I know will get much harder I am going to make it my goal to EMBRACE LIFE. (That is State Farm's Life Insurance marketing slogan, that was on the video we watched this morning.) We were only promised today and have no clue what the future holds for us. So while we are here in this troubling world, it is up to us to make the absolute best out of each moment! Everyday we get to spend getting up and going to work, being with friends and family is a gift. I do not want to take a single second of that for granted!

Here are a few pics from this weekend celebrating some Birthdays!

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Sweet Baby Brother

Today is my sweet little brothers 23rd Bday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICK!! I cannot believe that he is 23, which sadly makes me 25 :( I could not be more proud of the man that Patrick has grown into. Patrick has definitely not had the easiest road in life but has overcome all the trials that have blocked his way. I am constantly amazed at his ability to gracefully and joyfully get through any situation. I have many times called him sobbing on the phone about some devastating news or event to have him calmly tell me it will all be ok. So to change my format up a lil bit here are some of my favorite things about my baby bro...

1. His ability to LAUGH through any situation
2. They way he looks at me with sweet SYMPATHY when I have a "blonde" moment
3. That he grew to be so stinking TALL
4. His LOYALTY to friends and family
5. The way he never says NO when you need his help
6. The fact that he named his dog after his favorite COWBOY'S player
7. His always ENCOURAGING words
8. How much he LOVES his family
9. That he is the INTELLECTUAL of the family
10. His AMAZING Margaritas at Abuelo's
11. The fact that he NEVER complains about anything
12. That instead of buying new clothes, even undies, he will wear his roomates.... EWWW!
13. That he has my Grandy's HANDS
14. That he has a bird NOSE like my momma
15. That sometimes his LISP from childhood creeps out
16. That he is a total MOMMA'S boy
17. He KISSES and HUGS in public
18. That he still writes in CURSIVE
19. His SMILE
20. His BLUE eyes like my mom
21. His AMBITION that will hopefully take him to law school
22. How he CALLS to check on me
23. That even though he is the BABY he doesn't act like it

 I LOVE YOU PATRICK!

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