She is... 25

She is spontaneous
She is inspiring
She is the one who wakes me up on my mornings to sleep in for coffee breakfast and lifetime
She is my encourager
She is the one who cuts, colors, and styles my hair... for FREE
She is lovely
She is a protector
She is fierce
She is determined
She is engaged
And today she is 25

Happy Birthday Neeley, to my favorite roomate of all time, my friend, sister and person! We are blessed to have you in our life and I hope that today is a blessing to honor you!

This is the best year yet to come!

Moments that last

I love when I get to see glimpses of the real you. Your infectious smile. Your kind loving spirit. Those moments of joy that we share carry me through the bad moments. The moments when I have upset you and don't know why. When you get frustrated trying to tell me something and my guesses throw you off course. I hate those moments. I hate what is happening to you. I hate that I cannot do anything to stop it. I feel very discouraged and I know you do too. I wish I could take you on adventures all the time. I let the hard moments keep me away too much. We laughed yesterday for forever at what you did. That hard belly laughter. We connected over the sillyness of it all and it felt right. It felt like it used too. You surprise me so much with the things you say or don't say. I miss you telling me you Love me on the phone. I miss the good hugs you used to give, but I take my forced hugs to heart everytime now. I am proud of you, I hope you know that. This isn't easy on you. I don't like it when you are too hard on yourself. It isn't you... its the disease. I wish we could play all day long. I wish I could make you happy all the time. I wish I could understand what you are going through. I don't know how to help. I don't know what to do. But I love you Mom. I Love you!

Monday Night Entertainment and moving on.

My Monday nights for the past couple of weeks has been filled with watching Drew and the "Home Star Runner" play softball. His team is so fun to watch. They could have been cast as the "blooper" team in a baseball movie because they make the silliest errors. The softball player in me definitely comes out I want to scream out instructions to these grown men like they are little boys who don't know what to do..."THROW TO THE CUT OFF MAN, " or "FREAKING RUN HOME!" However I keep it all bottled up and just offer a supportive clap or cheer for my man as opposed to embarrasing him to death. No matter what the score is, it always proves to be a fun Monday night watching him play.

I am feeling overwhelmed over here these days.... It feels as though all the balls I have been juggling in the air for so many months are all slowly hitting me in the face. Trying to remain upbeat and remember that although I think I have full control it is really NOT AT ALL in my hands!

We are hoping to FINALLY be wrapping up a divorce her soon, having all of mom's personal affairs in some sort of an order, and get to start enjoying the warm weather with days full of weddings and maybe some traveling... in the midst of FINALLY moving from my evil house I live in now.

Thank you Lord for being the one in control as I have proven over and over again to myself I am not!

To know her

To know her, you know warmth in your heart.

You know that a smile from her makes a bad day go away.

You know that her happiness is infectious.

To know her you know that love knows no bounds.

This week Kelsey dedicated her life to Christ. At church on Saturday night during a service focused on baptism she knew in her heart it was her time.  To hear Kelsey tell the story she says "I just started bawling and I knew. So I told my mom and she started crying, or she had tears in her eyes.... I was just crying crying cause I knew. I was nervous about going underwater but they pushed me under and I came up and everyone was clapping for me."

I was so sad to not be able to be there to witness Kelsey's baptism but am so proud of her for her commitment to the Lord.  

Kelsey is God's gift to us in his most finest form!

Easter

We had an lovely Easter this year! Patrick came in on Friday night and we piddled around Saturday in the windy weather. Satruday night Mom, Patrick, Drew, Nana, Kelsey, Aunt Tammy, Neeley, Lane and I all went to church at Hillside where we have become regular Saturday night attendees. It was such an awesome service full of heart-pounding worship and a great message. Have you ever sat and thought about exactly why Jesus was crucified.... the exact thing he said that caused people to want him dead. That is what our message was on and I have to tell you it is something I have never really pondered before. Anyone who is insterested should go to Hillside Christian Church on Itunes and download the lesson from Easter Sunday.

Nana and Aunt Tammy fixed an unbelievably amazing Easter meal of Ham, Corn casserole, pineapple casserold, sweet potatoes, and some awesome lemon pies. We stuffed ourselves silly!

I spent the night with Nana and Mom and Patrick to await the arrival of the Easter bunny and would you believe he actually came!!! Never too old!! Patrick and I had tried Satruday to compile a little basket for Mom full of gardening supplies... it was a major FLOP! We are banking on making Mother's Day  awesome enough to make up for our Easter flop. Mom had gotten Nana a three-tiered bird bath to put outside the back window, they are obsessed with watching the Cardinals that come feast in thier back yard.

After seeing what the Easter Bunny left Drew joined us as we met up with Neeley, Kelsey and Aunt Tammy at Cracker Barrell for an Easter breakfast of champs! Drew and I delivered Easter Lillies to his mom and Sister at the hospital (who should be getting out today!)

Just a little creeper hanging around the Cracker Barrel gift shop

I was so glad Patrick came down to spend the weekend with us! We sure missed Ryan, Darrah, Paige and Peyton though!!!

These are some pictures I snapped in the backyard of Mom and Nana's on Sunday in the amazing weather.

My Heart will go On... and On

Let me tell you a little story. It involves a 7th grade girl, her 9th grade big brother, her mother, and the Nanny.

When the movie Titanic came out there was much much ado about the infamous nude scene. My family and I were living in Nashville, TN while my mom was attending PA school. Her classes were sometime late into the evening as she also worked at Vanderbilt hospital so we had a Nanny come stay with us after school, her name was Carol. Now in the mind of a 7th grade girl Carol caused a lot of trouble in my life at times but the absolute worst was one night when Mom decided to take the three of us to see Titanic. Time with my Mom was a cherished event and I was so looking forward to going to see this particular movie with her! Carol overheard our plans and had already seen the movie. She began coaching my Mom on how to handle her children during this scene.  It was decided that at the scene in question we would just cover our eyes. Then I suppose fearing Mom wouldn't know when to initate the "spare your kids eyes from a naked female body" scene Carol decided to tag along to the movie with us. Major Bummer for me and the boys!

So here we 5 are in a overly packed movie theatre full of mine and Ryan's school friend all coming to see Titanic. Ryan and I sat in the row in front of Mom, Patrick and Carol so I thought "SCORE," Mom won't be able to tell us that we have to close our eyes during the nude scene. We sit through the first hour and a half happily munching our popcorn and then it comes... and from behind me I can hear "sssssp" "ssssp" I try my hardest to buckle down and ignore the incessant noise coming from behind me. "SSSSSSP" "MEGAN RYAN", she is now in my ear chirping loudly at me. I tell myself to hold tight, I am almost free just ignore ignore ignore. Then my Mom is tapping our shoulders. Ryan has had enough, after a half second eye cover with his hand he is marching up the aisle, I quickly followed suit. We get outside of the theatre and he is MAD. "I have friends in there!" "Do you know how embarassing it is to cover your eyes?" "GEEZ!" We march around in anger for awhile, longer than necessary so people won't think we left just because of the nudity. Finally making our way back into the theatre for Jack and Rose's run through the furnace room and then safely into the backseat of the car only to be interrupted again by "SSSSSP" "SSSSPP" "Cover your eyes!"

Humiliation is all I can associate with my first showing of Titanic. Can you tell that memory has really stuck with me?! I remember years later seeing the full film thinking, "That wasn't so bad!" I could understand Ryan needing to cover his eyes but I was a girl for goodness sakes! Despite my humiliation it is and remains one of the most epic love stories ever told! I loved it even when I missed a good 20 minutes of middle of it. I went out at first chance and bought the soundtrack. I would lay in the bath listening to the music and know it was time to get out when the intense music woke me up from my relaxation.

Watching the trailer even now I get instant goosebumps because of the epicness of it all!

Last night Neeley and I went with our friend Bailey, who HAD NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE! I don't know how you survive in this world for the past 15 years without seeing Titanic. I mean I actually have to hand it to the girl that is an accomplishment.

Anyway we all ditched the boyfriends for a giddy night of watching Leo sweep Kate off her feet, amazing costumes and jewelry and an immense amount of LOVE! We went to the Imax 3D version which was awesome to see! Probably not worth double the ticket price but was not to be missed!

I have to admit I was very anxious last night about getting to the movie early (which I always have to do to see previews) because I just KNEW it would either be Sold Out or there would be a long line to wait in. The movie was at 7:30 and Neeley and I arrived at 7:15 (I was totally stressed by this time) to a completely empty lobby. We thought ohh yea well everyone will be in the theatre by now... there were maybe MAYBE 10 people. Neeley said "I am really disappointed in Amarillo right now, this is not a good showing of people for this movie!" Bailey came and we were all three like giddy little school girls. It felt like it was my first time to see it, and as soon as Jack came on the screen that smile never left our faces. I laughed when the children behind me were exited with their father during the nude scene sending me reminiscent back to my first time watching it 15 years ago. I noticed things I had never paid attention to before and remembered scenes I haven't watched in years. In fact I think it was maybe only the second time I had actually just sat down and watched it in it's entirety. I usually leave before it gets too sad. We all three walked out with mascara running down our faces.  Nevertheless it remains one of my all time favorites! And only flares my love affair with Leo!

Anticipation

First and Foremost I was incredibly blessed to recieve my car yesterday, after a month in the shop and 7 weeks after my little accident it is back in outstanding condition. It was so awesome to be able to drive to work this morning jamming to my favorite music a little to loudly!

Here are a few things I am looking forward to this week...
1) Titanic reopens today. I am so excited to see it tomorrow night! I cannot wait to re-watch this magnificent love story, probably the most significant one of my generation!

b) I ordered a new camera over the weekend. Wedding season is quickly approaching and my D50 has officially quit on me. I can't blame it though, it has been my companion for 4 years which included a trip to Thailand, a trip to Africa, several Lake trips, being dropped from two flights up in a chapel seminar in front of a huge student body, the last days with Grandy, mine and Drews blossoming relationship, lots of DIY crafts, family dinners, my last trip with my Dad and 4 years of Starlight weddings. Time to give it a rest and move on to a faster model. It will be missed!

c) I also ordered a new fisheye lens which will offer some fun perspectives on upcoming weddings.

5) Did I mention Titanic is coming out? Be still my heart Leo!

6) Cooper is getting groomed today! My poor sweet oversized baby has been carrying around layers and layers of mud stained hair for far to long. I feel some bedtime snuggling coming on tonight.

*These are in NO particular order

f) Patrick is coming in this weekend for Easter! I am so excited to see my sweet baby brother's face and wish Ryan and Co. were coming as well. Patrick warned me to rid myself of all Titanic temptations before his arrival. Sour Puss!!

g) I have FRIDAY OFF!! Yay for Good Friday! Definitely planning on watching "The Passion of Christ" this Easter to commerate our Savior's sacrifice. Can you believe I have NEVER seen it?!!

the Insurance of Life

Let me tell you a little something about what a 26 year old daughter should NEVER have to do... NEVER not under any circumstances whatsoever! She should not have to look through life insurance quotes for her 53 year old mother! NEVER!!

Alas the disease that I despise has called me to the task of doing such. I sat in my office today, where I myself sell life insurance, making phone calls regarding whole life vs. term. And realizing that the "continuation coverage" she is offered through her previous employer is our only option... my own company won't write her due to her diagnosis.

So here I sit looking at premiums deciding Whole vs. Term. The idea of a Term policy instantly makes me nauseas. Atleast with the Whole life we don't have to actualize and "end date" she could live to be 120 and still be covered. However with sky high premiums Term is definitely more logical but the problem that proves is that I am forced to think about an "end time." For someone who relishes living in denial this is not a promising task. I sat frozen at my desk today, as I am under a time limit to make our decision, screaming in my head at the world, at this disease, at the unfairness of it all.

Don't get me wrong I know that people everywhere are facing issues that are as devastating as these are but this is MY Mom. The woman who provided for my brothers and I for 20 years all on her own. The woman who supported us and believed in us unconditionally all of our lives. The woman who I go get mani/pedi's with and who I strike a very keen resemblence too.  Somedays it is just flat out NOT FAIR!

Mom, Nana & Zucchini Fries

Happy TITANIC week all! I am so super stoked that one of my Favorite movies is being re-released this week. I really don’t care about it being in 3D just excited to see it on the big screen for what will feel like the first real time ever! But more on that another day.

I had a pretty wonderful weekend this past weekend. Saturday was filled with scouring for treasures with my Mom. We drove around idly looking for garage sales and after not finding any good ones I suggested we take our adventure to the Flea Market. This was Mom’s first time there… she was not impressed. We walked around trying to find something to spark our interests but with me in my floppy hat and she in her Ray Bans we stood out like a sore thumb. As we glanced outside I suggest we just ditch our bargain find efforts and head to the mall, to which Mom happily agreed stating that “was much more our speed.” We had a great day together just the two of us!

Very Early Sunday morning Ginna and Erich welcomed their second daughter, Landry into the world so Aunt Tammy, Neeley, and Kelsey all took off Early Sunday morning to meet her. I volunteered to cook breakfast for guests at Starlight so they could leave and was honored enough to have Nana actually come do all the hard work for me. We woke up bright and early to go make breakfast at 9:30 for ONE man and send a plate to his sleeping girlfriend. It was definitely worth it to though to spend some time in the kitchen with just me and Nana. She showed me her technique to perfectly steamed eggs which I had tried to master many times before as I failed miserably.

Last night Drew and I grilled out some pork chops out in the beautiful weather. He invited some friends from work over, including our long lost friend Tyson. I missed Neeley desperately because it has been a LONG time since I have been the only girl around.  That is the beauty of dating roommates and “good buddies”… we always all hang out together.  Anyway all of my delicious side items were being vetoed such as corn on the cob, parmesan grilled asparagus, and even mac and cheese. They just wanted beans and chips… blah! So I decided I would cook myself a Pinterest recipe I have been wanting to make for a while… zucchini fries. And OH MAN were they good!! The Recipe can be found here. It was very simple to make and was a big hit even with the beano boys I was with.