10.20.2011

Out of Control

Today I am spinning, and I don't mean aerobics class.

I feel as though I can usually, USUALLY, be pretty good at juggling. Juggling everything at a time. People coming at me from all angles needing stuff and me trying to manage my own life on top of it all.

However lately it's been a different story. Lately I feel like it is ALL crumbling down around me.

I am realizing that I cannot control it all. That I alone really cannot control any of it! I am concentrating to much on the little things. Putting too much pressure on myself to have deadlines or handle it all.

I am being given A LOT more responsibility at 25 than I would have ever imagined. Handling my mom's affairs can be draining but I am honored to do it. Dealing with picky Brides is exhausting but I want to make sure they have the absolute best product I can give them. Relationships can be incredibly difficult when all you want to do is sit in your room and craft something pretty to make you feel better but they are one of lives greatest gifts!

I had a slight (ok it was MAJOR) meltdown today. After running home to put on a Meatloaf I have been wanting to make for Drew and discovering that most of my ingredients had been used up, I then recieved a super annoying and frustrating email and then had to deal with some other financial issues, I called Drew and told him I am ready to just quit. Quit it all! He like a good boyfriend listened, helped me cuss people out for a minute but then quickly told me it would be ALL be ok. That I don't need to blow things out of proportion. That he would help me. Just the comfort of finally having someone say I will help you figure this out was a relief.

But the truth is I have had that all along. God is always there to turn to when Things seem overwhelming. If I would just learn to immediately lean on him instead of myself my world would spin alot easier!

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