I don’t have adequate words to express what I am feeling right now. Hovering somewhere in the midst of emotionally drained, physically exhausted and heartbreakingly devastated. The day I have feared my entire life has approached us and I must soon face the reality of this Earth without my Beautiful Mom living on it. Over the past seven years I have wondered what this would look like and with each decline known it would come sooner but there is nothing that could prepare me for the broken heart I have. As I sit here listening to her breaths my thoughts are of all the amazing memories we have together but also the future things that will never be. I can’t stop thinking about my kids not getting to be with her anymore and most specifically little Everett and his love for his Nana or Solly Moo. My mom heart is battling between wanting him to get a chance to say goodbye and reminding myself he is only 3.5 years old and won’t know the extent of what he is witnessing. But after being in a battling state for 36 hours now and having all her kids and her special son and daughter in law surrounding her, her mom, sisters, nieces and nephews I wonder what she is waiting for. Although I am not ready for the next phase without her. The past year it has been a challenge to load up my kids and visit her in her home away from ours on a nearly daily basis but it has been an absolute honor to get to have such priceless moments and time with her. I don’t know what my days looks like without her in them. She has fought this battle with such grace and dignity! She has battled through every stage like an absolute warrior! I am so unbelievably proud that I get to call this amazing woman my mom! I am one amongst few. I am hers and as we promised one another laying together in bed just over a year ago it will be the two of us together forever!