It still feels very surreal and fake that you have been gone 6 months now.
I still pick up the phone to call you on my drive home, needing to hear a voice of unbiased reason. The advice of someone who doesn't get caught in the emotions just the reality.
It feels strange to be progressing down the road of life without you on it as well.
I still get caught up in the regrets I have. The anger I let influence me for too long. I wish I could change that.
I think about where I will be in another 6 months and wonder if you are proud of the path I am traveling. The choices I am making.
I wish we were planning a trip to the lake with you and Christie for Labor Day, or any time really.
That was the best trip ever last year as we sat around (not even able to get in the water) and you taught Drew to smoke meat, and watched me glue lima beans on a wreath, and you fought through your nausea by asking us all trivia questions. You laughed and cried and cooked and it was wonderful.
I think about your friends in Dallas and wonder how they are getting on with life without you. I pray for Christie everyday and the strong woman she is, how she made you a better man, how she never left your side. I am grateful you had her and left her behind for us to have in your absence.
I miss your text messages telling me that my Yankees are losing and your Rangers are killing it.
These past 6 months feels like the shortest and longest months of my life. Your absence is felt. You are missed beyond belief.
I love you more and more everyday!
