Some Bunny's Turning One Birthday Party

 When thinking about what kind of party I wanted to have for Haven the only things that came to mind were sweet, girl and bunny! She has slept with a stuffed animal bunny from the hospital the day she was born and I had hung a bunny picture in her nursery before she was born. So we had a sweet girly pink bunny party!

We held the party at Rhonda's new event venue because it was a cool different look for a first birthday and different from Everett's party the month before at home. I used some fabric from our wedding reception that really helped set the tone of girly sweetness. After doing boy parties for 3 years it was fun to indulge in the pink and pretty of desserts, flowers and decor.

We celebrated with family and sweet friends! Haven was surrounded by her Gran-Nana, Doss, Cha Chee, Mimi, Aunt Kels, Aunt Nene, Cousin Norah, Rhonda, Max, and Emmee, Aunt Carrie and BJ, Cousins Blaine, Kennedy and Brady. Grandma White and Mimi Susie, And our sweet precious friend Diane who has loved on and watched Haven and Everett for us! Of Course Dad, Mom and Everett were all there also!

 

Haven was spoiled with lots of clothes and gifts to which she cared little about and Everett was thrilled to add new toys to "his" collection.

Our sweet little girl proved to be quite the eater as she devoured into the cake Mimi made for her.

We couldn't have had a better time celebrating our sweet girl's first birthday! We love you Haven Molly!! 

Setback

I am sitting in a hospital room holding hands tightly with my mom as she lays in bed sleeping and mumbling in her sleep. Yesterday she was rushed to the ER because she was choking and her caretaker couldn't get her breathing again. As I turned my phone off Airplane mode on my charger my phone was flooded with messages alerting me to the incident. My heart immediately dropped and I immediately thought about the DNR we had on Mom and worried they would do nothing to help her! I scooped up my kids and raced to drop them off with Doss and Charlotte. I ran as fast as I could into the ER and to her room. I wasn't sure she would be alive but she was! She was in bad shape and the doctors and nurses kept telling us what a close call she had. I couldn't get my tears under control. I couldn't imagine losing her. I couldn't handle the idea of losing both parents to aspiration. So here we sit in a room on the fifth floor waiting. Waiting to see if the swallowing issues that caused her to aspirated is due to the digression of her disease or due to effects of a UTI she has had. Waiting to see if we go home or if we stay. Waiting and wondering what else this horrific disease has in mind for my beautiful courageous mom. 

This setback comes as a tremendous blow because since we have moved mom into a care home where she is receiving such tremendous care and experienced such a turnaround. For the first time in a long time I felt like I had my mom back. She was more alert. She stopped hitting and being combative. She would go for rides with me and the kids and listen to music. She sat and watched as Haven and Everett wrestled on the floor and laughed at them. She scolded Everett for taking off Havens sock. She hugged and kissed them. For the first time ever I felt like she really saw Haven, really a looked at her and beheld her beautiful namesake. She told me over and over she loved me, she kissed me, she said my name, she rubbed my back and Stroked my hand. I knew it wouldn't last forever but after months of extreme behavior it has been the greatest pleasure to sit and love on one another we used to. 

I don't know what to hope for except for peace. Alzheimer's I hate you. I hate you for how you continue to rob us of the special moments we deserve. I hate you! 

Haven Molly is ONE!

My oh my how in the world is it even possible that Haven Molly is ONE?! This little beauty is Joyful, Funny, Loud, Precious and Independent!

Sweet Haven you are full of surprises! About 3 weeks ago you stopped taking your formula so we tried you on Whole Milk and you haven't looked back since. You gulp down milk like it's going out of style. You also like apple juice but especially if it's in your brother's sippee cup! We got you one of your own big kid cups and you are handling it like the pro that you are. You can also out eat Everett at any given meal. Your favorite things to eat are goldfish, apple sauce, eggs, and granola bars or pretty much anything that is around.

Haven you have learned to stick up for yourself with Everett... you can "take him down" and it is hilarious to watch. He lets you do this but you certainly pin him down and then you guys just laugh and laugh and laugh. It is the sweetest thing to watch you two play together and laugh at one another! You love to be held sweet Haven. Especially if your Mom is around. While I am doing chores you chase me down on your hands and knees crying to be held. This is actually about the only time you cry. I just bought another baby carrier for toddlers so that I can carry you with me while doing laundry and cleaning house. I am cherishing these moments because I know you won't want to be held like this forever. You do like to snuggle and will lay your head down on whomever chest is around.

You are really starting to talk a bit and talk back to Everett. You are saying Mama, Dada, Nana, and Hi. But you also like to mouth off and if I am getting on to Everett you jump in and give him some choice ramblings as well. You love to mimic his animal sounds that he does!

Haven you now have 10 teeth! You love love love baths and will take off to the bath as soon as you hear the water turn on. You are dancing anytime there is music on and it's the cutest thing ever! You have also started clapping your hands! On the day we had your birthday party on March 18th, we got home and you took off walking with 7 steps. You haven't really stood on your own at this point and are just walking from place to place with the help of furniture so we were shocked when you took off like this! We tried to get  you to do it again but you only took about 3 steps and sat down. All that to say I think it will only be a few days before you are off and walking!

Your hair is starting to grow in more fuller and it has the prettiest red shine to it. You look so much like your Nana right now and I hope you stay looking like that. Your eyes have settled a beautiful brown which you get from your Dad along with  your beautiful full lips. People say they see me in you and I am hoping it continues to show!

Haven we had your 12 month wellness check and you weighed in at 24 lbs. 2.5 ounces and 30 3/8 inches long!  This put you in the 90 and 95 percentile. The doctor said you are ahead developmentally and are completely perfect which we already knew of course!

You sweet girl have completed our family in a way we never knew possible! You have brought so much joy and happiness into our lives! We absolutely adore you and are so blessed by  you sweet one! I can't wait to watch as you grow and learn more about the world around you! Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!!

Our 11 Month Old Beauty

Beautiful Beautiful Haven Molly how in the world are you 11 months old?! I remember this time a year ago we had just found out that you had some heart issues and it was a week to week journey to see how soon we would get to meet you! That feels like yesterday and yet here you sit as an 11 month old beautiful girl.

Every day is full of new joys with you my darling girl! Today you tried cow's milk for the first time and you LOVED it! You have turned into such a wonderful eater and can out eat your brother at every meal. You love pasta, eggs, bread, apple sauce,  and green beans. You have outworn your interest in crackers and animal cookies. You also like the taste of apple juice a little bit. Most recently you have delved into your brothers birthday cake and devoured more than he did! You are able to eat all this yummy stuff because you now have 8 teeth! They are all 8 right up front on your upper and lower gums. I feel like we woke up one morning and you had a mouth full of teeth, although you did cry, drool, and whine from weeks leading up to it.

Haven you continue to scoot around the house on your hands and knees or on your feet using your hands to cling to any furniture that is around to help. You still like to use your walker to move quickly about the house in and especially like to chase your brother in it. Within the last few weeks you have taken steps with a push toy and are really doing well with that! I keep thinking that one day you will take steps on your own but all our hard wood floors are making it harder to do that.

You finally started saying Mama a little more but nothing compared to how you love to yell out Dada. You like to mimmick any noises happening around you, especially if your brother is making animal noises. You are now riding around in the cart seats instead of your car seat when we go to stores and you really enjoy looking out at the world around you. We also put you in highchairs on the rare occasions we go out to eat. Between your brother and you it can be quite the adventure to have two in highchairs especially if we didn't bring enough snacks.

Haven this past week we took you to the doctor for the first time ever outside of your wellness checks. This was a huge difference from your brother who was sick with a lot of stuff his first year. It turns out you contracted RSV and got an ear infection along with it. You continued to smile and happy for the most part while you were sick. As the day would wear on you would become more clingy to me but that just made me happier. You do this thing where you lay your head on my shoulder for just a split second and pick it back up. Everett never did this and we want you to just lay your head down like that so badly but you pick it up a half a second later.

You are a serious pacifier stealer. You will take any paci you see around you regardless if it is in someone else's mouth or not. Cousin Merritt was here a week or so ago and you continuously took his paci right out of his mouth to try and put in yours. If you see one of your brother's laying around you take that to which he comes and takes away from you.  Right now you don't have any preferences to type you just take whatever is there. If I have one and you have one you will grab the one from me and we play a rotation game keeping you occupied for a good while.

Haven you have a smile that lights up the world around  you! Your hair is getting more auburn with each day and growing in fuller. You are rocking a nice little mullet right now but it is still beautiful. I could just eat you up you are the cutest little thing in the world! I love and adore you Haven Molly and am honored to get to be your Mom!!

Hope in Tomorrow

 

Seven month ago on a night much like this I cried myself into a restless sleep. I knew the next day would be one of the hardest of my life for I was charged with placing my young 57 year old mom into a Memory Care facility. I believed that she would be well cared for, I believed that this is what was best for her and what I had to to for my family. I cried for days, weeks after as I watched her continuously slip away. It wasn't always bad. I do believe some of the people who worked there loved my mom and cared for her as best they could but it was never the care she deserved. Over the last month I have witnessed a decline in behavior that has broken my heart into a million pieces. Mom began to act out violently towards other residents and staff members. It was slow at first and small things but as the staffing began to change in personnel it increased. I watched as this disease continued to strip away another layer of my compassionate mom. A woman who spent her life giving and caring for others became a threat to the other people in the unit. With inexperienced staff "caring" for her she became a prisoner in not only the small Memory Care unit but became imprisoned in a room surrounded by 4 walls. She was left for hours to fend for herself and her aggression grew. She had her dignity taken from her. She was treated in a manner no one deserved to be treated much less someone with a terminal illness. Compassion and empathy went out the window and she became a scapegoat for a facility in turmoil. Placing your family member outside of the home is tramatic and makes you feel guilty enough without adding neglect onto your loved one. It is the hardest decision someone makes for a family member they love and would want nothing but to provide the absolute best care at home. It's a decision no one should face but especially not at the tender age of 30 and 57.

Tonight I lay awake excitedly unable to sleep because I believe God has answered our prayers. He is delivering her tomorrow morning into a place full of compassionate care. She will be surrounded by one on one care. Treated like a human being. Showered with love. She will be fed and hydrated and cleaned. She will have some resemblance of the life she deserves. At least that is the hope and the prayer but I don't think it can be any worse. 

Mom I am so sorry for what you have gone through. Specifically the past month. You deserve the best care in the world! I will stop at nothing to find it for you. I think tomorrow will be a giant leap in the right direction! I don't think I will sleep any tonight because I am so exited for you. 

Everett turns 3

My precious Everett Tristan Neal, Monday was your 3rd birthday and I cannot believe it! You have grown so much so quickly. You seem  so very grown up but you are still the sweetest little boy in the world!!

Everett you still love all things Dinosaur and if you could have you would have had another dinosaur party this year for your birthday. You don't just like dinosaurs you like to know their technical names. You run around calling out a Triceratops from a Maiasaura and a T-Rex from a Long Neck. It has really challenged your Dad and I to brush up on our Dino knowledge. We got you a big book with all different dinosaurs in it and their names. You Love it!! I gave you the choice of Cars, Trains, or Animals and you choose "Choo Choo's" So this year we celebrated with a Choo Choo Party. I of course dressed you up like a train conductor for your pictures and you are the cutest sweetest little train conductor I have ever ever seen!

Everett you remain a picky eater. We can only get you to eat well if it is chicken, noodles, or cheese (grilled cheese or quesadilla.) You love applesauce and yogurt. You are very particular about the snacks you have and choose different things everyday. You absolutely Love apple juice! In the mornings you come in and ask for "Wawalles" (waffles) and milk and are very good about drinking it all up.

In the past few months you have developed a new habit of coming into our room in the middle of the night and crawling into bed with us. We would take you back 4 times a night and you just kept coming. Finally we brought back your sound machine and it has helped your midnight wakings. You used to sleep until 8 or 9 in the morning but now you are up at 5:30. This has been especially tough on your Mama who has never been a morning person. You come crawl in bed with us and lay there until your Dad gets up to get ready for work. We put you down to bed around 8 PM.  You still sleep with Meyer and a paci. The paci must be a specific one though, you refuse to use any but a few specific paci's and this can be incredibly frustrating to hunt down these few paci's when they continuously disappear. Along with Meyer and your paci you take an armful of toys with you to bed each night to keep you company. Every morning I clean out your bed and we start it over again the next day.

Everett you are fiercly protective of your sister. You are really enjoying getting to play with her unless she touches one of your hundred dinosaurs. She chases you in her walker and you think it is the funnest thing ever. We are still working on helping you learn she is still to little to wrestle with though. If anyone messes with your sister though you are the first to speak up to her defene and the first to come get me when she is crying or awake. You are such a sweet and loving big brother!

There are some other people that you absolutely love and that includes your Nana's. It has gotten so hard and confusing to distinguish between Gran-Nana and Nana so they just kind of run together. However you always refer to Reilly (Gran-Nana's dog) when talking about her. You love to go play cars at her house and lay on the couch and have her tickle your back.  I get jealous because I remember loving to have her do that to my arm growing up. You ask me everyday to go over to see her. Your Nana is also one of your favorite people to see. We go up to visit her at the home she is in and you love to walk with her. She is very fast and quickly can get out of view so you run after her. There are a few other residents there you have grown to be a fan of and you yell out their names when you see them. Everett you light up those people's faces in a way that hasn't been done in a very long time. You are so precious about giving them all high-fives and a big smile. I am so proud of you for being so compassionate at such a young age and not being afraid. You are such a big boy that you now walk into bible class on Sunday Mornign and Wednesday nights with a wave bye bye and no tears. When we get you out at the end of service you walk around saying Hi to anyone around that is listening. You can be quite the little social butterfly!

Everett you crack us up constantly! We are shocked by the things you are picking up on so very quickly! We have tried to work with you on numbers with some resistance from you then all of a sudden one day you were counting to 10 on  your own. I have to continually remind myself that you are stubborn and will do things in your own time. Most recently this has showed up in potty training. We bought you some cool big boy underwear that you love to look at but tell us "NO POTTY" when we talk about sitting on your little toilet. I have even offered to bribe you with animal toys, which you love, but you don't care one bit and want absolutely nothing to do with the potty. I am sure one day you will just decide on your own to do it when you are ready!

Your favorite show right now to watch is the Lion Guard on Disney. You have collected all the little figures and shout out their names as they come on the screen. You rotate your movie preference from Toy Story, Monster's Inc., Ice Age, and Frozen. You discovered Frozen right before Christmas and were a big fan very quickly! When we are in the store you shout out "ANNA, ELSA" If you see something from it. It is pretty funny!

Everett I could not imagine you being a sweeter, more loving little boy if I had gotten to create you myself. You Love to be held by Mom and love to wrestle with Dad. We are so proud of you every single day! We are beyond blessed to get to be your parents and have a front row seat to  your discovery of the world around you. I cannot believe 3 years have already gone by since we first laid eyes on you. My heart continues to grow every day with love for you in ways I never knew were possible.  Happy 3rd Birthday my beautiful boy!

Happy Valentines Day!

We are full of Love over here this Valentine's Day!!