Seven month ago on a night much like this I cried myself into a restless sleep. I knew the next day would be one of the hardest of my life for I was charged with placing my young 57 year old mom into a Memory Care facility. I believed that she would be well cared for, I believed that this is what was best for her and what I had to to for my family. I cried for days, weeks after as I watched her continuously slip away. It wasn't always bad. I do believe some of the people who worked there loved my mom and cared for her as best they could but it was never the care she deserved. Over the last month I have witnessed a decline in behavior that has broken my heart into a million pieces. Mom began to act out violently towards other residents and staff members. It was slow at first and small things but as the staffing began to change in personnel it increased. I watched as this disease continued to strip away another layer of my compassionate mom. A woman who spent her life giving and caring for others became a threat to the other people in the unit. With inexperienced staff "caring" for her she became a prisoner in not only the small Memory Care unit but became imprisoned in a room surrounded by 4 walls. She was left for hours to fend for herself and her aggression grew. She had her dignity taken from her. She was treated in a manner no one deserved to be treated much less someone with a terminal illness. Compassion and empathy went out the window and she became a scapegoat for a facility in turmoil. Placing your family member outside of the home is tramatic and makes you feel guilty enough without adding neglect onto your loved one. It is the hardest decision someone makes for a family member they love and would want nothing but to provide the absolute best care at home. It's a decision no one should face but especially not at the tender age of 30 and 57.
Tonight I lay awake excitedly unable to sleep because I believe God has answered our prayers. He is delivering her tomorrow morning into a place full of compassionate care. She will be surrounded by one on one care. Treated like a human being. Showered with love. She will be fed and hydrated and cleaned. She will have some resemblance of the life she deserves. At least that is the hope and the prayer but I don't think it can be any worse.
Mom I am so sorry for what you have gone through. Specifically the past month. You deserve the best care in the world! I will stop at nothing to find it for you. I think tomorrow will be a giant leap in the right direction! I don't think I will sleep any tonight because I am so exited for you.
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