58.

This past Wednesday was Mom's 58th Birthday. Her birthday is such a bittersweet day to me. It means we get to celebrate another year of life which is such an accomplishment but with each year we add another mark to how long she has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. This year makes it 6. With each January 18th that rolls around I think "how can it get worse? how can I lose her more?" and then the year continues and I see how it gets worse and she seems further and further away from the Mom I remember.

The past 5 months have been particulary hardest for me. Getting to the point of realization of knowing that we have to move her to a full time care unit was difficult but actually placing her there was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It seemed like we have been on a continuously steep declining slope since the move. Little glimpses of hope would come here and there, hope of seeing a small bit of Mom again.

The week and a half before her birthday Mom began to stand upright again. This was HUGE! We hadn't seen her face and eyes without getting down on the floor and looking up at her since August. All of a sudden she was walking down the halls, head up, eyes up, smile coming at me. It has been the greatest blessing.

I wanted to do something special for her birthday. I have wanted to take her to Outback Steakhouse, her favorite restaurant, for a long while but with her not sitting still and not sitting up it seemed impossible. With her standing up straight the week before her birthday and having good day after good day after good day I began to think it may just be an attainable goal. Patrick and Taren flew in  and we planned to meet family at Outback for an early birthday lunch. To my amazement she sat still head high through the entire meal. She laughed at things, she cried as her Mom's card was read aloud, she devoured her steak. I could not have asked that her lunch go any better! She was awesome. It was amazing! I am so thankful for that lunch. To get to take her out to do something she loved. To get to spend a little time feeling slightly normal with her.

The weeks after have been hard. I cling to the memory of her smile and laugh as she enjoys the simple pleasures of her favorite food and the joy of celebrating her!

Happy 58th Mom! Forever and Always you are my absolute HERO!