I am very excited to update on a post from last week about Ryan going to Afghanistan.... he is NOT! Such a blessing for us to hear, I am not sure he feels the same. I would love to be able to explain it all but the Army is a system that I very much DO NOT understand, just know he will be reinlisting for another 3 year term. So YAY for Ryan staying in the country... somewhat, they are going to request to be moved to the base in Hawaii. This means dream vacay next year if they do!

May I also just say that the looking at this sweet/silly face everyday on my desk makes me instantly happy!

Sometimes I am truly amazed by the man behind that face. He shows unconditional love, continued support, and a constant presence in my life even when I am sure there are moments he doesn't want to be.

Last night this sweet man indulged me in my "Leo Dicaprio is the best actor" mentatlity by buying J. Edgar and watching it with me. I thought it was brilliant of course but Drew was turned off by the homosexual implication. A couple weeks ago he sat through the Rum Diary with me as I feel disloyalty to Johnny Depp if I don't see one of his movies. Needless to say Drew now thinks I have horrible taste in movies but he sat through them without complaining because he knew it made me happy. I have no doubt that as much as he protests he will be by my side at the re-opening of Titanic in April.

He puts gas in my car when it's low because he knows how much I hate to do that. He hangs pictures and fixes fences at my Mom and Nanas without complaint.

He is excited to see my brother's again because he truly loves them and wants to be around them. He is begging me to plan a trip asap.

He is simply amazing and I am so very grateful for his friendship and love.

Non-Profit Experience

Back in December I applied for "the perfect job" with a non-profit agency whose cause is very dear to my heart... I didn't get the job becasue of lack of experience working with non-profit agencies.

Well it seems the Lord is trying to change my experience levels and I honestly couldn't be more excited!

From the time my Mom moved to Amarillo I have been trying to start a support group for people actually diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimers or dementia. The problem I have come across is that most people diagnosed with Alzheimer's are "too far gone" by the time they are diagnosed to be able to participate in a support group or recognize the need for it. This is so not the case with Early Onset patients... the desperately NEED a group, NEED to know they are not they only one with this diagnosis.

After months of trying to get a group together, trying to go through the "proper" channels I am finally throwing caution to the wind and jumping into my own little groove. Mom and I met with a director of an assisted living facility in town who is so excited to partner with our group by offering their facility as a meeting place, provide attendees with snacks, and bring in speakers to encourage them. I AM STOKED!

The woman instantly took to mom's vivaciousness and pleaded with her to come volunteer during the days she wants to get out of the house. This is definitely an answered prayer!

In a flip of events- The American Cancer Society in Amarillo is honoring Rhonda's dad this year at their Cattle Baron's Ball. This means that the whole Kimbrough family is very much "in" on planning the event.

I overheard Rhonda talking about the entertainment for the event and let me just say with the most sincerity I have... she has NO clue about what to do for entertainment. So I offered a couple of suggestions, called a few booking agents and then found out I have been placed as head of the entertainment committee. the HEAD! I am currently trying to book a pretty semi- big used to be really big artist for the event.

I could NOT be prouder to be involved in both with both of these causes which have effected both of my parent's lives so much. I wish my Dad were here for me to tell- I know he would be proud. Cancer also waged war on my Grandy's body, I hated watching the changes it made in him. Slowly trying to kill his spirit and take away his joy for life- it definitely lost in the end!

 It feels good to be able to take a stance agains these horrible diseases and feel like my passion really can make a difference. I am grateful to both of my parent's fighting spirits and knowing that there is something/someone so much bigger than this world!

Let me brag about my Nana for a minute

My Nana is the most unbelievable woman in the world. She is 82 years young and looks as beautiful as ever.

(Some of Nana's homemade orange juice in my Starbucks cup with me at work, the best start to a morning!)

We are BEYOND Blessed to have Nana be here in Amarillo and still be so active. She definitely does not get enough credit for all that she does. She is such a gracious caregiver to my Mom throughout the day and night. She continues to cook up a feast to feed her family with. She is such a rock for me and others when we need a moment to let our guard down. She continually reminds us of who is in control of our lives, it is certainly NOT us.

I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a spouse of nearly 60 years. Nana's world has changed immensley since Grandy's rising to heaven. She lives in a new city, lives with her daughter, is finding a new church home to belong to without Grandy by her side, and is re-learning the social circles she left so long ago.

She is doing an AMAZING job! I am so proud of her. She continues to show grace and strength even when I am sure she doesn't feel up to it. She is walking daily with Aunt Charlotte to keep her mind and body active. She is continuing to read constantly. Neeley is styling her hair now and Nana is rocking a new "do" that looks adorable on her.  She pushes all of us around her to be the absolute best person God wants us to be.

She blesses my life each and everyday!

Down Range

This little cutie pie makes everything seem better and always makes me smile!

Can it truly only be Tuesday when it feels like atleast Thursday?! This week is officially taking WAY to long.

This weekend was relatively calm, lots of chilling which is my favorite thing to do. Drew and I got to have some good quality time togther. Saturday night we went to hear the first in a new sermon series on making decisions in a Godly manner. As the Queen of being indecisive I am feeling like I could learn a lot from this new series.

In other news...

We got word from Ryan that he is going back to Afghanistan. He doesn't know when or where yet but it will probably be next month and is only supposed to be for 30 days. He is being strong, sounding confident that it will be "no big deal." He told me he will be eating, sleeping and working out everyday. It is hard after all that our family has been through the past year and 3 months to feel like anything of this magnitude is just all going to be ok. I am encouraged by his strength and peace but my heart hurts that he will have to go back to a war stricken country. Mom immediately hit the fritz, her first reaction was to call and tell me and then called Patrick leaving him 6 voicemails. She cannot fathom the idea of him being over there even it if is for a short period of time, she needs all her chickens safe and sound in USA so that she can remain calm. I know the Lord will cover Ryan and protect him as he has in the past, our prayers will be holding him in a safe bubble as well. My first thought was that I wish my Dad was here to hear the news, he would know what to say, how to feel about it... I am sure Ryan was thinking the same thing.

I try incredibly hard every day to keep my Mom encouraged and motivated for life. A life that she has so much more to do with, so much more to live in. Some friends of Nana's were in town this weekend to visit and during dinner with them Mom told them that the Doctor had told her she only has 3-5 years left to live. The one and onlly good thing about this disease is that No One knows what kind of time frame we are looking at. She tested out rather well at her last Dr.'s visit in Dallas, exceeding some categories and not in others but overall we was very happy with her lack of progression. The toughest battle is getting her to believe that we do not have a prognosis on time, only God knows. I have to keep myself from getting infuriated when I hear that she is telling this time story again. It is hurtful for me to hear, that not only the end is unknown but that she believes this to be true.

Sunday night Drew and I went over to Mom and Nana's house to check on them. Mom pulled me into her room crying because she didn't remember how to work her computer. I held back my own tears and decided this would be my moment to tell her how I felt. I told her that I had spoken to the Dr's office in Dallas and never was there mention of a time, that the one honest conversation I believe I ever had with Gary was while I was sobbing asking him if there was a time and he said No. I told her that even though she feels like her days are long and boring sitting at home that I am working my ass off to try and find people going through the same thing as she is that she can talk to. I told her that she has 3 kids who Need her, who she is all that is left for them. I pleaded with her to understand that life has many adventures left to give to her and us. That I am planning on getting married soon and need my Mom there beside me, I need here there when I have children, when Patrick get's married and has kids and when Darrah and Ryan give her her first grandson (just hoping for the future here, nothing in the works yet) There is so much more. So much for her to give still. She cannot give up on this fight!

I set up her Ipad so that she can video chat with the boys which I think will help. I called Ryan immediately to plan a trip for her to see them before he leaves, for us all to have some family time together.

You know those days when everything just feels a little off but you can't put your finger on just what it is.... I am having that day today.

Could be that I woke up a wee bit late to go work out but Mom and I still went (Drew has been taking a couple of weeks off due to an ankle injury, I am worried that he is going to need surgery sooner than later)

The roads seemed deserted as we drove to the gym and I concentrated extra hard on my driving abilities. I just knew I was going to slam into the sad red truck that was waiting at the end of the street from where I hit it yesterday.

We got to the gym and it was so very crowded there wasn't even two treadmills to spare... this Never happens!

On our way home again the roads were bare, I got home and my "ghost" roomate was actually around.

Things just seemed a little twilight zonish to me today. Could be the massive headache I am suffering from, could be the sore neck and back muscles results of driving into a parked car but it is a weird day.

This past weekend Drew, Mom and I went and got our nails did... yes Drew went too and he LOVED it!

Mom had been wanting to get them done for a while and we finally made it a date.



There is something about getting your nails done that makes you feel extra special and ladylike. Mom and I used to go all the time in Abilene but I think this is the first time I have gotten to go with her since she's been here. I have missed it so very much!



Now may I brag about this man for a moment... He is such a delight. I appreciate and Love his ability to step out of his comfort zone and be open to new experiences like getting a pedicure. He embraces new ideas just to be with me more. My Mom lights up when he is around, sometimes more so then when she sees me and I love it! They banter back and forth, make each other laugh, and feel loved. He is one of the people who continually treats my Mom like nothing is different about her. Sometimes it makes me sad that he didn't know who she was before the disease... before the changes but he tells me he wouldn't want to know her any other way because to him she is just "Ollymollsies" (I don't know where he came up with that name.) It is so important to me to be able to spend time with these two people together and they don't care what we do they just love to hang out together.

I was shopping at United after work on Valentine's Day waiting for Drew to get off and noticed all the men panicking last minute looking for some card or leftover flower arrangement to bring home. My mind immediately went to Drew waiting for me at work at 8:45 am with a huge bouquet of flowers. He is attentive, loving, and never takes advantage of our time together by making every moment special. He adores me and my Mom... what more can a girl ask for?

Valentines Day and the crash afterwards

Yesterday was an absolutely Lovely day.... LOVELY I say, as a day of "LOVE" should be!

I started my day off with an extra good workout. Ran further and pushed myself harder. Felt great afterwards.

I went home and did the dishes at 7:00 in the morning, I was in THAT good of a mood.

When I got to work my sweet boyfriend was waiting for me with a BEAUTIFUL arrangement of flowers.

I had lunch with Mom and Nana at this little cafe I love. They have the best mixed greens salad with fruit and nuts on it... DELICIOUS. They accompany it with a great yellow squash quiche that just makes me feel happy when I eat it.

I gave them both their Valentine's Day gifts. Mom a purse that she wanted, Nana a giftcard to Barnes and Noble for her next book to purchase on her Nook.

 Valentine's Day is so much more to me than just about sharing Love between a man and a woman it is to share Love that you feel for everyone in your lives, so they got treated extra special yesterday!

I went back to work and it was a wonderful day, there is something about having a beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting next to you that makes you smile.

Afterwork I ran to Mom and Nana's house... they had a little something waiting for me. Amazing shower gel from Victoria Secret from Nana and Awesome black booties from Mom. It was like my Birthday all over again... totally feeling Loved on by all.

Kelsey was there so I gave her her Valentine's Day goodie bag... lots of PINK... nailpolish, blush, lip gloss, and some mascara (it wasn't pink), she was on cloud 9. Kelsey is our Valentine's Angel so we love on her extra hard this day.

I sent an awesome yellow/gold orchid to Aunt Tammy.

Drew and I made a steak meal together last night complete with Outback style green beans, mashed potatoes, and scallops (definitely need to work on my scallop cooking!!)

I gave him the two Harley Davidson shirts I had picked out... the only two I could tolerate seeing him in that didn't look too biker boy.

He gave me the most beautiful silver necklace with a Canadian diamond with the matching earrings.... my guy knows how to treat me well!

It was such a perfect night with just the right combination of romance and chill. We watched the latest episode of Parenthoold while lounging on the couch.

I went home to find a sweet spaghetti set from Neeley and an awesome bag with chocolate wine and fun goodies from my Aunt Tammy.

Wonderful Valentines Day!

So I woke up this morning still riding the Valentine's Day high. Jumped out of bed got ready to work out just knowing I would have as good of a workout or better than yesterday.

I was pulling away from my house headed down the street as my snooze alarm went off... I took my eye off the road for 1 sec to locate the noise and BOOM.... I ran right into the neighbor two houses down's car parked on the street. I moved it about 5 feet and caused it to go up on the curb.

Neeley had just left the back of the house and was coming down the street as I waved her down,  just knowing that the car was totally smashed in on the passenger side. Luckily my damage wasn't too bad and his didn't look that bad. We banged on the poor guys door for 15 minutes and he could have cared less at 5:30 in the morning.

My first wreck ever that was my fault... EVER! Drew and Aunt Tammy came over to assess the damages both deciding it was ok to drive.

I realized this is the life of a grown-up. I didn't freak out, I calmly assessed the situation and took mature steps to rectify it. I don't know it is because I work in insurance or that I know I am capable of handling this situation but I felt like a grown-up.

Diamonds one night... a wreck the next morning. Doesn't get more real than that!

Buried.

Yesterday I worked for half a day and then took the rest off to be with Drew. His 33 yo cousin's funeral was yesterday, she lost her battle with cancer last week.

I had met her one time, briefly and just before she was to be moved to hospice. Drew hadn't seen her in a while but they shared fond memories of growing up together.

I held his hand as tears streamed down his eyes during the service. I was so touched and honored to be apart of his life in this moment and to offer him some strengtg as he has so much over the past year and a half for me.

Her burial was at Memorial Gardens cemetery, the same place my beloved Grandy is laid to rest along with Mommy, Papa, Aunt Cora, Aunt Patsy and Uncle Jack.

I meandered towards their graves as we were waiting for the hearse to arrive. I had been at this place too many times for funerals but never seen all the graves of my heritage laid together.

After the service Drew and I walked to where Grandy was buried.... he still has no marker on his grave. As we walked around trying to figure out which unmarked spot held his remains I lost it.

I couldn't fathom knowing his body lay feet beneath me. Knowing I was physically so close and couldn't touch him.

I have often had nightmares about what state a body/casket would be so many months after being put in the Earth.

Yesterday it hit me all to real and all to fast that I was without him.