My Dream Job

There is a change taking place in our household. One we are very excited about but also nervous of.

I went to back to work when Everett was six and a half weeks old. We were so lucky that my Aunt Tammy was able to watch Everett on MWF while I worked at the office and I was with him on T TH while I worked from home. Realizing that this was a temporary arrangement Drew and I prayed about what we should do when the time came to find full time care.

When the time came I freaked at first thinking about someone watching my baby. Who could I trust? No one. It was incredibly expensive to have full time care. Then God gently laid it on our hearts that I should be the one staying home with him.

This was a scary and thrilling concept. Scary because we are used to two incomes. Scary because I have worked full time since I was 16. But overwhelmingly exciting because I get to be the one with my son full time.

So with lots of love and support from family, friends, and my boss, Wednesday was my last day at State Farm. I can't say I will miss the insurance business. I will miss some clients and my coworkers but this is new journey is the job I really want. My dream job!

I am so grateful to my husband who is our supporter and biggest encourager for this new change!
We know God will provide and will continue to take care of our family!

3 Months Old

 

Our sweet boy is 3 months old! Where is the time going?

Everett your  smile is contagious and easily bought with a big smile of my own. You love to mimick facial expressions. 

You do not mind meeting new people and letting them hold you, however you do stare sternly at them before you will let your guard down and smile. 

You are so strong Everett, you have been holding your head up for weeks and are now becoming ever more sturdy on your legs with the help of someone holding you up. 

Your sleeping patterns are all over the place, I blame myself for not implementing more of a schedule for you during the day. You did sleep one night from 10 pm to 8 am! It was miraculous!! Your Dad kept checking to make sure you were still breathing. What a great night!

You are more aware of the noises you make and enjoy them more and more. You still get surprised when you have a big burp and your eyes shoot wide open.

You are starting to drool like crazy which makes me think we are definitely entering teething time. So not looking forward to it! 

You are consistently eating 6 oz of all formula now. We stopped breastfeeding completely about 3 weeks ago to which I was both sad and relieved.

I love when you first wake up for the day, usually 7:30 ish, and you aren't starving so while I change your diaper you stretch and we make smiley faces at one another. It's the best way to start a day!

 

Everett you are the absolute light of our lives and we can't remember what it was like before you ever came!

 

Ranger's game for Mother's Day

Drew and I were trying to think of something really good to get Mom for Mother's Day. Materialistic things are becoming less and less interesting to her so we thought it would be a great opportunity to take her to a Ranger's game. Mom had been saying for the past year how fun it would be to go and we jumped at the chance to take her.

We decided to make a weekend out of it and drove in late late Thursday night. It was an adventure having Mom and Everett, Drew and I in one suite at the hotel but it was cause for lots of laughter. When Everett cried for his early morning feedings Drew or I would find Mom standing in the hallway looking over him and asking what she could do to help. Needless to say it was not her most peaceful sleep during the weekend but she loved being so close to him and spending all her time with him.

We went early friday to get my shopping out of the way at the mall. It was fun and exhausting to have my Mom with me for this... she doesn't like to shop much for herself but she loved picking things out for me. In the dressing room she would say "well if you like it then that is what matters" which meant she didn't care for it but she was very excited about some outfits and she definitely expressed that. There is just something about shopping with your mom that is special. I tried to get her to pick out a few shirts and she found one she loved but as I was checking out she threw her shirt down and started crying. "What in the world?! Whats wrong mom?" her reply, "People out there can't do this and I can't... we need to help them." Her heart is so full of compassion for others! She didn't want to spend money on herself when others's were less fortunate. Made me feel very guilty about my Mother's Day shopping trip!

We went and met Patrick and his girlfriend, still weird that he has a real girlfriend!, at Top Golf. This was the ONE thing Drew was so excited to do in Dallas. Everett slept the whole time as Drew, Patrick and Taren took turns hitting. I sat back and watched and Mom became increasingly bored.

The next day we went to find Mom some shorts to wear to the Ranger's game and then took her to see the Farmer's Market in Dallas. We had gone last year and loved seeing all the fruits and vegetables but thought Mom would love to see the flowers! We wanted to load our already full car up with all the flowers we could but resisted since they would still be sitting in the sun for two days. We met Patrick and Taren at Pappadeaux in Arlington before the game, an all time favorite stop. 

I loaded Everett up in our snugli and off we went all dressed in Ranger's gear to our first game of the season, and Everett's first ever! He instantly began to cry and cried the whole way from the parking lot to our seats, it was dinner time! Once I got him all settled he slept for the rest of the game. We did get him his Ranger's Certificate for attending his first game. I was so disappointed because we didn't get many good pictures of him in his Ranger's gear but the ones we did were cute!


On Sunday we met Patrick at The Cheesecake Factory for Mothers Day brunch, and then took advantage of their shrubs for some famiky pics! 

On our way out of town we made a quick stop to meet the newest additions to the Blanton family Graham and Gray Burton. They were so precious and SOO tiny. It was crazy to thing that 3 short months ago Everett was almost that small. 

It was a great weekend spent with Family!!

A Family of Three

We had our family pictures taken when Everett was 2 weeks old by my friend Mack. Everett was a little grumpy but we managed to get some good pictures of the beginning of our journey as a family of three together.

 

 

 

The Moms in my life

I am so incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by not only my amazing Mom but a Nana who has been so much more than just a grandmother and an Aunt who takes me in as her own and embraces me as her own daughter. These three women have influenced my life completely and made me the woman, wife and especially mother I am today!

I have distinct memories of moments in my life that I shared with each of these women and lessons learned from their teaching.

I remember being a freshman in high school in Abilene and our youth group was doing a "life on the streets" mission campaign. Students who signed up were dropped off at the local homeless shelter where our belongings were taken from us and we were to pick out new clothes from the shelter's closet of donated clothes. I was horrified at the thought of spending my weekend in such a way. None of my friends were doing this weekend event and I absolutely did not want to do it! I wasn't sure how my mom had even gotten around to signing Patrick and myself up but she did. I told her I didn't want to go, I begged and pleaded and I was pretty sure I had gotten her to let me off the hook until I saw she had packed my bad and literally took me kicking and screaming. Yes I was in highschool and yes I was crying when she dropped me off. I was so mad I don't think I even told her bye. Patrick on the other hand embraced the weekend ran right over to his pack of friends. The weekend was not easy. We were separated into groups and all dropped off at the city limits in the wee hours Saturday morning with the goal of walking back to the shelter if we wanted breakfast. I was in flip flops and freezing but too proud to take shelter shoes. We visited camps around the city of homeless communities and delivered food to many. At some point I began to let down my guard and embrace the message of the weekend. Gods love was covering those people as much as it was me and I was no better than any one of them. Sunday we all worshipped together at the shelter and shared a meal. When my Mom came to pick me and Patrick up I told her how grateful I was that she forced me to go. That weekend is one I will always remember but even more than being forced out of my comfort zone I remember how my Mom knew I needed that experience. She knew that it would impact my life in many ways forever. 

My family moved to Nashville the summer after my 5th grade year. My mom was attending PA school and working so a lot of our care was provided by Nana and Grandy. My 6th grade year at a new school brought along a lot of new experiences. One of which was my first school dance. My Nana took me to shop for a new dress for the dance and I remember feeling so special that I got to be out shopping with my Nana. Our tastes differed a bit but we managed to find a nice black spaghetti strapped dress at Wet Seal. Nana insisted that every girl needed jewelry to complete an outfit and helped me pick out a black chocker necklace and black bangles (that look was really in then!) After we pieced the look together in the store we went in search of shoes. Would you believe my Nana bought me my first pair of platform shoes?! I remember thinking I had the coolest Nana in the world. She helped me get ready for the dance and fixed my hair. Spending that time with her just the two of us, shopping for a special occasion is one I will never forget. I have been so fortunate to have an extra special relationship with my Nana that goes beyond the usual grandparent/grandchild bond. She has always been a listening ear, shoulder to cry on, friend and truly Grand Mother to me!

Growing up my Mom had to work alot since she was the sole provider for my brothers and I. This meant that we weren't able to go on many family vacations with her since she couldn't miss work. If it hadn't been for my Aunt Tammy then we wouldn't have been able to go on vacations at all. We would have spent summers, spring breaks, and christmas breaks at home but she didn't let that happen. For as long as I have known Aunt Tammy has taken the three of us on as her own, loved on us, disciplined us, and encouraged us when my Mom wasn't able to. She took us to the mountains with her kids to be with our other cousins during the summers, to visit Nana & Grandy during Christmas Breaks and to San Antonio for spring breaks. Looking back I now realize what an undertaking this was for her to add on 3 kids to her own 4 but she never made us feel like a burden. Always a welcome addition to her clan. I have been so fortunate that my relationship with her has only matured in love and guidance through the years. At every major milestone and every regular day in my life she is standing there encouraging me and helping to guide me. I am forever grateful for her love! For accepting me as one of her own and treating me as such. For loving Everett as her own. As much as I know she loves me, I know it all stems from her deep love and affection for my Mom, her sister. A Bond that runs deeper than the rest and has seen its share of rocky roads but it's a love that conquers. I have always counted myself extra special to be on the recieving end of that bond and to be the one to be named after my Aunt Tammy! She is truly my other mother and one I couldn't survive without!

So Happy Mother's Day to these Moms in my life and so many other's out there who all deserve to be truly celebrated!

A Mother's Love

As I approach my first mother's day there are alot of things on my mind. For one I am just in complete awe and supreme gratitude to my Mom who raised 3 kids on her own! I am a mere 11 weeks into raising a son with the most incredible father at my side and it still can be overwhelming.

I always knew I wanted to be a Mom. I always wanted to have kids, and several of them, but having Everett has been so much more than I could have ever imagined.

 The love that I have for that sweet boy feels like it can literally burst my heart. I feel like there is never enough time in the day to cuddle and hold him. Like I could kiss him until my lips fall off. I could smile and laugh with him till the end of days.

The love I share for Everett and with him is like no other. It's a bond I could never understand until now.

Everett, Thank you for making me a Mom and especially getting to be Your Mom! I love you bunches and bunches!!

 

 

Denial works for me.

There are times when I fool myself into thinking that this is as bad as it's going to get. That she will always remember who I am, that she will always recognize the faces around her. The thing about her dementia is although the loss of ability may seem like a quick descent - when you are in it, living with it daily you don't notice the rapid decline as much. You take each day for what it is and the changes seem small.

But there are times when it slaps you across the face. When I look back and go "Oh My Gosh! She could do this a year ago/month ago and now she can't!" This happened yesterday as I was working over at Mom and Nana's house. Mom was rocking Everett in the chair next to me and I was weeding through my work email. I came across an email from Mom's work email from 2010...

Good morning!  I hope you have a great day. Just remember how much I love you and miss you!   Make today count!   Love, Mom

This was 8 months before the diagnosis of her dementia. I was living in Amarillo, she was married to Gary and I never felt further emotionally from her. This email as simple as it is tugs at my heart and takes me back to my Mom. My real mom who is not victim to this disease but before it when her light was still there and she could express things.

I look back and realize that almost 4 years ago to the day she was working, she was typing, she was driving and functioning on her own. Now she can't do any of that.

There are moments when life won't let you life in denial.

I was really taken back by the recent article in People Magazine about Glen Campbell's family's decision to put him in a full time facility because they "can't keep  him safe" any longer. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20808648,00.html

I had never thought about getting to that point. What the bad times will really be like.

For now denial looks better to me.