Mom at this year's Walk to end Alzheimer's. She represented those living with the disease by carrying her blue flower.
Friday night Drew, Mom, Nana and I went to dinner at Olive Garden. As we are sitting in the lobby waiting for our table Mom continues to punch at her phone just making aggravated noises... "Arghh" "Gahh" "No No No." After trying to get her to focus on something else I finally ask what is wrong with her phone. "It's this girl, this lady is all over it, she is everywhere and I am sick of her!" Reba McIntyre would be who she was referring to and she has almost all of her albums on her phone. I spent the majority of dinner trying to delete Reba's music and managed to delete all but 3 songs. As we left the restaurant I turned on music in the car and thinking it would be funny played one of the remaining Reba songs. Mom perks up with "Ohh yes! This is good!! I love it!!" I couldn't believe it ... the very music I had spent my entire dinner removing she decides to now love. I begin to laugh so hard that tears roll down my face and before I know it I am full on crying in the backseat. She is not quite aware of what has brought on the tears but for the first time in a very very long time my mom leans over and hugs me, grabs my hand and kisses it continuously. We are a very affectionate family but for the past year or so I rarely get voluntary affection from her. I have to remind and force her into a hug when I arrive or leave. The shock of her actions took me by such surprise I started to cry harder. She continues to tell me that it is all OK and that I have a precious baby coming and we have to "get this done" for the baby.
Fast forward less then 24 hours later, I am running errands with Mom and Nana. We have stopped at Walgreen's to drop off some film rolls my Mom has had for 20+ years. As she and I wait for Nana to finish her business Mom begins to look for "something Tammy gave her." With no clues as to what it is and after many guesses I decide to just follow her around the store until she recognizes it. Fifteen minutes later with still no clue she is more frustrated and the three of us are standing near the checkout. I take this opportunity to try and get her onto a different subject and move her toward the door. As we stand in line Mom unleashes her fury on Nana and I. "Yall don't help me!" "You don't Get it! Nobody gets it!" She stands by the door glaring at me and I feel like fire could pop out of her eyes at any second. I have learned to just ignore this behaviour but as we get home and Nana and I settle down to watch some TV and let her calm down. However Mom decides she is not done yet and comes in to give us another go round of her anger. Eventually, hours later, she apologizes and there are tears involved but the whiplash of Alzheimer's over the past 24 hours has left me numb.
This disease is horrific! The effects it has not only on the victim but those caring for them are never ending. I hate what it has turned her into and I cherish those moments of vulnerability and glimpses into my Mom's true personality all the more.
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