Dear Dementia

I hate you!! I hate the insecurities you have developed inside a strong and capable woman! I hate the self loathing you bring. I hate your robbery of precious moments to come and the anger that can overtake some moments now. I hate the independence you steal! I hate your selfish behavior...you have settled yourself in the brain of a woman who has so much life left to live and wonderful things left to do! I hate you dementia! I hate you!

But even through the hate and the anger I know you will not bring us down and I know of someone bigger and more compassionate that will defeat you!

A Birthday celebration in Heaven

I wonder how birthdays are celebrated in heaven. I'm sure between the angelic singing of happy birthday and a pat on the back from Jesus our birthdays on earth look trivial.

Today is my Dad's birthday. I wish so badly I could celebrate with him. Catch him up on all the things happening in my life. I wish I could have just one hour to talk with him and wish him the happy birthday he deserves.

I would have so much to apologize for so much to ask him. So much to say, but I would settle for the chance to say Happy Birthday!

It's been one year since I have seen you, almost one year since we have spoken. It feels so short and so long at the same time.

I want to tell you that Drew asked me to marry him, that I said yes ( knowing you had already given your blessing in your own way). I want to ask you if you would forgive me for the horrible letter I sent you years ago in my youth and ask if you would walk me down the aisle. But instead I will settle for Happy Birthday knowing you can see what my heart yearns for and knowing you already know all this. Knowing you send your blessing on my marriage, you forgive me, and that you will be with me as I walk down the aisle.

So today I say Happy Birthday to a wonderful man and Father! I know you are wrapped in the arms of your parents, siblings, friends and my sweet Grandy! What a party that must be!

03-30-13

 

A few weekends ago Mom, Drew and I ventured down to Santa Fe to check out some wedding venues. I kept telling Drew about "meetings" I had scheduled and he couldn't figure out the need for a meeting. However once we got there I think he got a little bit more grateful for my preparedness as we wondered through the streets of Santa Fe and vast majority of quaint little nooks many of which would suite a beautiful wedding. By the end of the day amid the distress of choosing a wedding location which makes attending a little trickier for guests I felt more confused than ever. However in my heart I felt there was never a "decision" to make it was simply a matter of me, for once in my life, voicing what I really wanted. And what I have really wanted from the beginning was a getaway weekend for those willing to come the extra mile to celebrate the love Drew and I have found and our commitment to each other. With the support of most behind me I made the choice and am happy to announce Drew and I will be wed on March 30, 2013 at La Posada de Santa Fe in Santa Fe, New Mexico. To all those who think my location picking is far out or reach you should just know my first choice was actually Costa Rica. I have started down the path of planning and it is not an easy one. I was extremely attracted to Santa Fe because we have a wedding coordinator and aside from arranging details such as flowers, music, attire and photography the majority of our wedding will be "handled" for us. I want this next 5 months of planning and preparing to be fun and simple. I want my Mom to feel included and a part of every decision as little or small as it may be. With her disease, we have struggles sometimes but she is very happy and excited for this journey.

Our trip to Santa Fe was a great weekend getaway for the three of us. A time to break away from the ususal routine and spend some quality time together. I loved every moment of watching the man I love protect my Mom and I as we navigated through the many tourists. As he engaged Mom in laughter during moments that could easily swing to anger. I loved watching her as she proudly told anyone who would listen that this was her daughter and she was marrying this great man soon. As she motherly gave advice and asked questions during our meetings of things I hadn't considered.

 

 

Lingerie Shower Time.... hello embarassment!

On the Thursday night before Neeley's wedding I planned a lingerie shower for her at Starlight. I enlisted Baliey and Lane's sister Sidney for help with food and games. We had such a great night with close friends and family celebrating the pending marriage of Neeley and Lane.

For the wedding we had been working on tissue balls and so for the shower I was looking for a new idea to add a flair of drama and eye candy to the back wall in the Starlight Reception hall. I had seen  a pinwheel tutorial on Pinterst and decided that was the look I wanted for the shower. They were very simple to make, scrapbook paper and hot glue. I added a little extra touch with some fabric flags and of course an F for Fort. I was very pleased with everyones reaction to my creation.

My color theme was Mint Green, Mustard Yellow, and Gray. I purchased some fabric from Joanns that coordinated and laid them messily around the vintage centepieces I borrowed from my Aunt Tammy's house. I loved the finished look with votive candles around giving it a vintage, rustic elegance.

Lane's sister was in charge of games. She asked Lane questions and we put Neeley in the front of the group to answer the questions. If she answered right she got a "Nice" gift which consisted of nail polish, boy shorts, and lip gloss. However if she answered wrong she got a "Naughty" gift which consisted of skimpy lingerie, chocolate syrup, and "up all night" nail polish with Redbull. She answered most questions wrong so she got to open several naughties in front of everyone. Needless to say I think she was just embarassed enough!

 

This is the face of a girl sitting in front of her Mom, Nana, and Mother-in-law opening an Edible Body Art Pen from Victoria Secret.

Kelsey was by her sister's side and gave her comfy VS Pink pants and a top.

New Buddies from our Bachelorette Weekend Bailey and Tenell were on hand to add to the fun!

Beautiful Bride. I loved the background!

 

The Kimbrough women were all in attendance to experience Neeley's embarassment. That is a group of fun women right there folks!

Neeley with her "New" Family, Grandma, Sister-in-law Sydney, and Mother-in-law Leah.

The Blanton women living loud and proud doing what they do best which is look absolutely Fabulous! Such a Beautiful group of women. I am so blessed to be in this group!

Mom and I took advantage of my artwork to grap this great shot! She is so lovely!

2 years

Two years ago today I had a date with a fellow I had never met before. He picked me up at my house where an on guard Neeley watched  his every move. He took me to an Italian restaurant 20  minutes before our reservation, so we sat at the bar where he spilled water on me. He has changed my life in everyway. He is the most caring, kind, lovable man I have ever met. He has a way of keeping me calm in the midst of crisis. He adores my Mom and doesn't let either of us take things to seriously. He loves my brothers as his own. He has brought me more joy with his laughter and smile than anything else ever could. and in 158 days we will be married. I am overwhelmed with the blessings Drew is to me and my family and I cannot wait for him to be my husband!

Happy two year anniversary to the love of my life. I cannot wait for the many many more years to come!

A Bachelorette Weekend!

A few weekends ago Neeley and I ventured down to Dallas to meet up with a few of her bridesmaid's for her Bachelorette Weekend!


Our plans were simple: Eat good food and shop shop shop!

We drove in Friday just in time to hit up our first Urban Outfitters before picking Tenell and Bailey up at the airport. The four of us were then off to the center of town to stay in our ultra trendy hotel A Loft. The hotel was so Neeley, it was an old warehouse turned into a hotel with loft style rooms and an awesome view.

 

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 We brought a multitude of shoes to insure we fit the Dallas scene for our weekend!

Erich and Nicholas suprised us with champagne at our room while we were getting ready to go eat at Papadeaux. So sweet and the perfect kickstart to our weekend. We had an amazing time just hanging out with each other and taking some time to relax before the wedding.

 

Rebecca met up with us after our long day of shopping on Saturday for a bite at Papasitos and then to hit the town a little bit. We tried to keep the weekend very non "bacheloretteish" but we couldn't help but embarass Neeley with a flashing banner to wear!

 

 

The weekend was so fun but after a long drive we were ready to get home... and Drew and Lane were chomping at the bits for us to be home.

I walked into a clean house with candles lit and Sweetheart roses from my sweetheart for our 1 week engagement anniversary! I am so lucky!

Let the planning begin

I bouquet of flowers from Neeley's wedding still going strong after 5 days without water.

I feel as though real life is slowly trickiling back into a routine. After taking last week off to be "all hands on deck" for Neeley's wedding being at work is a little unbearable this week. I am adjusting to living alone for the first time in 4 years without Neeley, but while she is away on her honeymoon Cooper and Henley have been keeping me company while they run through the house fighting.

On top of reconstructing my schedule I have shifted my attention to planning my own wedding... not an easy task. I have convinced myself in the years and many months leading up to this moment that I want something very different from the normal wedding. I have pictured a destination wedding of some type with our friends and family taking a full weekend away to celebrate our love. However coming to terms with the planning of an event many miles away from home that will fully incorporate all of my ideas and dreams is turning out to be a wee bit stressful. I am realizing a little more each day that I may actually want something traditional. Drew, Mom and I are headed to Santa Fe this weekend to check out some venues and either close the door on a destination or lock in a date. Drew seemed a little overwhelmed when I exclaimed to him last night that "we are already way behind in our planning!" His response of we have only been engaged 4 weeks was not the answer I was searching for. He quickly told me to relax and that after our visit this weekend we would know much more and be able to tread steadily down the road to matrimony.

Drew's dad was rushed to the hospital this week after his heart gave out. He will be undergoing a procedure within the next couple of weeks to have a pump installed in his heart to keep it beating strong while he waits for a heart transplant. The most amazing part of this to me is that within minutes of learning the news my Fiance' inlisted his Facebook friends for their help in praying for his dad. I love the man Drew has grown to be in our short time together. He is rock solid for me and I couldn't be more blessed to get to marry him!

Wedding planning Binder... We are ready for this planning to begin!