Why is that we rarely take a moment to stop, look around at the here, the now, this moment and realize that this... THIS is Life... this moment right now. We take moments and seconds and time for granted while looking to the future.Looking to what you want out of coming time and moments and completely neglecting this one.
Life is too short and wasted spent on yearning to be in the next moments, the next phase. To feel more accomplished. To feel more put together. To feel more worthy.
That is not what life is about... it's about the moments you laugh out loud.
The moments you spend an extra minute or two to show you care.
When you goof around in the living room because you can.
Jumping on a bike for a quick ride around the block or two.
Eating pasta because you love it.
Taking time to say I Love you. To make a phone call instead of texting. To write a card and put in the mail.
To get excited about the little things and knowing it's okay to have a big real reaction.
It's about the late night champagne visits followed by tears and laughter on the floor.
It's about looking past the little frustrations and looking at the big picture.
Taking a trip to see family when it may not be the best time but that is what's important.
Buying a pair of shoes because you can.
Realizing that staying up till 2 AM happens sometimes and you will get through the haze of the next day with the memories of the night before.
Going blackout bowling just to be with friends and not worrying about the shower you have to take to wash out the smoke smell.
Realizing that this phase, this moment is just right for right now and it is enough.
Life is such a beautiful gift. I wish I didn't take so much of it for granted!
5.17.2012
5.14.2012
A Mother's Day to remember
For Mother's Day this year Patrick and I teamed up and decided to give my mom a toy for her Mother's Day gift...
Mom had said several times before that she would like a bike. After a botched Easter basket we decided that Mother's Day would be the perfect time to give her a bike that she could enjoy during the nice summer weather. Drew and I went to pick it out and he brought it over to her house early Sunday morning to set up for her. I was planning on giving it to her later in the day with a big bow on it but at his request I gave it to her that morning (He wanted to be there to see her reaction!) I had feard that she may not be able to actually ride a bike any longer, since her diesease there are several things that would prove easy to a person with a healthy brain to accomplish that she struggles with. I was ecstatically suprised when she jumped right on the bike and took off down the street, she even managed to race Drew in his car as he drove away. Such a wonderful moment to share with her. I am so proud to have her as my Mother, So thankful for all she has done for me throughout the years and so blessed by her strong independent spirit!
Now lets back up to Friday night shall we.... after work I went to Mom and Nana's house to check on them. They were both in great spirits and good health so I left them for dinner with Drew, Neeley and Lane. While at dinner I noticed I had missed 3 calls from my mom, my first thought was to call her back later when we had left the restaurant but I went ahead and called from the table. Thank the Lord I called! Mom and Nana had been out walking the dogs down the sidewalk when Nana tripped on a raised part of concrete and fallen hitting her head, mouth, chin, hip, leg, arm hand on the right side of her body on the cement. She was bleeding alot since her blood is so thin. Not being able to reach me immediately Aunt Charlotte and Das came to take Nana to be seen. We immediately left the restaurant and chased them all over town until finally meeting at the ER. 5 hours later we had news that in addition to the two chipped front teeth, split chin that had been glued back together, bruises down her ride side and bleeding lip she had broken her neck. It was a fracture at her C4 that would only require a neck brace but broken nonetheless. We finally got Nana into bed at 2:30 am with her pain medicine and neck brace. The rest of the weekend followed with nauseas for Nana and continued pain down her side, a little bit stir crazy Mom who was the helpful assitant to me trying to finagle my way through the weekend keeping everyone in good calm spirits.
Yesterday Nana was moving around more and with Aunt Tammy and Kelsey returning from their trip over the weekend to Midland, Neeley and I were able to celebrate our Mom's and Amazing Nana a little bit. Ditching our plans to cook dinner with unexpected guests arriving in the evening we heated up one of Nana's lasagna casseroles and took in the madness that is our family. Nana had a wonderful suprise gift of her own.... Aunt Cindy flew in to celebrate her mother and play nurse for a few days.
I am so thankful that Nana's fall was not more serious and praising God for this time to take care of the caregiver in our family who takes care of all of us!
Mom had said several times before that she would like a bike. After a botched Easter basket we decided that Mother's Day would be the perfect time to give her a bike that she could enjoy during the nice summer weather. Drew and I went to pick it out and he brought it over to her house early Sunday morning to set up for her. I was planning on giving it to her later in the day with a big bow on it but at his request I gave it to her that morning (He wanted to be there to see her reaction!) I had feard that she may not be able to actually ride a bike any longer, since her diesease there are several things that would prove easy to a person with a healthy brain to accomplish that she struggles with. I was ecstatically suprised when she jumped right on the bike and took off down the street, she even managed to race Drew in his car as he drove away. Such a wonderful moment to share with her. I am so proud to have her as my Mother, So thankful for all she has done for me throughout the years and so blessed by her strong independent spirit!
(Pleas notice her cute pj's and bare feet, she had just woken up from her slumber)
Now lets back up to Friday night shall we.... after work I went to Mom and Nana's house to check on them. They were both in great spirits and good health so I left them for dinner with Drew, Neeley and Lane. While at dinner I noticed I had missed 3 calls from my mom, my first thought was to call her back later when we had left the restaurant but I went ahead and called from the table. Thank the Lord I called! Mom and Nana had been out walking the dogs down the sidewalk when Nana tripped on a raised part of concrete and fallen hitting her head, mouth, chin, hip, leg, arm hand on the right side of her body on the cement. She was bleeding alot since her blood is so thin. Not being able to reach me immediately Aunt Charlotte and Das came to take Nana to be seen. We immediately left the restaurant and chased them all over town until finally meeting at the ER. 5 hours later we had news that in addition to the two chipped front teeth, split chin that had been glued back together, bruises down her ride side and bleeding lip she had broken her neck. It was a fracture at her C4 that would only require a neck brace but broken nonetheless. We finally got Nana into bed at 2:30 am with her pain medicine and neck brace. The rest of the weekend followed with nauseas for Nana and continued pain down her side, a little bit stir crazy Mom who was the helpful assitant to me trying to finagle my way through the weekend keeping everyone in good calm spirits.
Yesterday Nana was moving around more and with Aunt Tammy and Kelsey returning from their trip over the weekend to Midland, Neeley and I were able to celebrate our Mom's and Amazing Nana a little bit. Ditching our plans to cook dinner with unexpected guests arriving in the evening we heated up one of Nana's lasagna casseroles and took in the madness that is our family. Nana had a wonderful suprise gift of her own.... Aunt Cindy flew in to celebrate her mother and play nurse for a few days.
(Beautiful Roses Nana recieved on Mother's Day)
I am so thankful that Nana's fall was not more serious and praising God for this time to take care of the caregiver in our family who takes care of all of us!
5.11.2012
A mother's day remembered
Last year Mother's Day was a little bit of a different one. I spent Mother's Day 2011 having lunch with my Dad.
Drew and I had gone down that weekend to go watch the Yankees play the Rangers in Arlington. We took in about 2 hours of Six Flags and decided that was more than enough time spent in the heat and waiting in line before the game on Saturday.
Sunday we met my Dad and Christie for lunch at one of my most favorite places, The Cheescake Factory. It was the first time that Drew and my Dad got to meet. I hadn't seen my Dad in a loonnng while before that day and I was very anxious about seeing him and more so about what he and Christie would think of Drew and Drew of them. It was a Wonderful lunch full of my Dad's sarcastic humor and amazing food. It was a lunch cut too short by a long drive back to Amarillo.
I remember thinking as we left Ft. Worth how strange it was to of all days to see my Dad it was on Mother's Day. It was a day that was completely blessed. Looking back I am so thrilled with the time we got to share on that Mother's Day. Those moments with my Dad, the laughter we shared, the hugs I felt from him can never be taken away from me.
As I spend this Mother's wrapping my arms around the women in my life who have raised and love me, I think back on how quickly things can change in a year and cherish every moment here on Earth with those I love.
5.10.2012
Breakfast or working out... you decide!
My Mom is SO funny! She just keeps you guessing constantly and brings so much Joy to my life. There are hard days and moments Yes, but when you get to really experience her personality it is all well worth it.
We have been inconsistenly working out in the mornings. I have really tried to keep myself motivated by realizing what a difference it makes in her to get up in the mornings and have something to do not to mention that some days that is the only time I see her. I am trying to keep her focused by reminding her we have a wedding coming up to look smoking HOT for! This has not really been working for either of us lately.
A couple of mornings ago I went to pick her up, she was dressed and ready which is a blessing because when I have to wake her up it is hard to witness her disorientedness. She has never been a good morning person, a trait she passed onto me, but her dementia is highlighted in those early moments of the morning when her brain has been in sleep mode for so long. She can't remember what she needs to do to get ready and walks around in circles in her room grunting from having to be awake so early.
On this particular morning she was ready to go... or so it seemed. We make the drive across town to the gym...Nevermind there is the same gym two blocks away because the trainers there are rude and judgy, NOT something you want at 5:45 in the morning. As we are pulling into the parking lot we notice Aunt Tammy is not there, she usually arrives about 10 minutes before us and offers great motivation in the mornings. We sit in the car for a moment and I comment on how tired I am, Mom quickly says "Yea I did NOT want to get up this morning." I look at her and being completely captivated by the thought of my cozy bed across town reply with " Well Mom do you not want to work out today." She bats her eyelashes at me and says " Ya know we could just go get some breakfast Megan." So we did. Driving back across town to the McDonald's by Mom and Nana's house to get some coffee and sausage biscuit. I dropped my Mom off at her house and went back to bed... it was quite glorious! The next morning however we redeemed ourselves by actually working out!
5.09.2012
Different Paths
* Disclaimer: She did NOT choose this dress and it in NO way resembles her actual dress. Nothing spoiled for the big day!!
Seeing your Sister go through finding her dress and readying her life to be married to the man of her dreams is a very different feeling. Very exciting of course! I have never seen her happier, relaxed, and more comfortable in her own skin. He in every way suits her.
We went in search of her perfect dress the other day, first at a couple of boutiques here in Amarillo with the entire crew in tow. Aunt Tammy took lead in the dressing room as Nana, Mom, Neeley's soon to me mother-in-law and sister-in-law all sat out in anticipation of what she would walk out in. Neeley looked amazing in every single dress she put on but seeing her in the dresses was an odd realization of, "oh boy she really is getting married." For two people who have walked parallel lines for such a long time, Yes we have taken different variations of paths throughout our years but always ended up at the same place, this is a very different transition for both of us. It feels like the first really big life changning event that is separating us apart. That isn't necessarily true of course, we have each encountered different situations in our life that the other hasn't but this is a big deal. No longer are the days of being able to count on seeing Neeley before I go to bed each night or wake up in the morning, or intermingle jewelry with, or have in person to decide wardrobe choices, or lay on the couch with watching lifetime playing hookey all day long. All these things may not seem to HUGE in the spectrum of things and I am sure we will work out the kinks to manage as close to our "normal" life as possible but it will never be the same. Her home will not be my home and my home will not be hers any more come October. We are stepping out on different paths and times in our lifes. It feels funny. I know it is right, this is life, time to grow into a new direction. She is taking the path first, leading the way and will be able to prepare me for it in the future.
She ended up finding the most perfect dress for her at a boutique and had time to search with just her mom.
I am so happy for her. So proud of her choice of husband. So in love with the person she has grown to be and will be so very honored to stand beside her as her Maid of Honor on October the 13th. There will be tears though!! Drew has asked me if we are supposed to give speeches and I told him absolutely not... there is NO way I could make it through that without looking a fool.
She ended up finding the most perfect dress for her at a boutique and had time to search with just her mom.
I am so happy for her. So proud of her choice of husband. So in love with the person she has grown to be and will be so very honored to stand beside her as her Maid of Honor on October the 13th. There will be tears though!! Drew has asked me if we are supposed to give speeches and I told him absolutely not... there is NO way I could make it through that without looking a fool.
5.07.2012
Sunday night bowling
This weekend proved to be a very good weekend with just enough time to relax between working.
Friday night Drew and I headed straight out to Starlight after work to finish painting the reception hall and setting it up for the wedding on Saturday. I will admit I was a bit of a baby and MAY have thrown a little tantrem about having to paint. ( Yes I am 26 years old and Yes I hate painting that much!) Sweet Drew let me whine about it and act like a baby for a few minutes. As I taped the baseboards and he painted in silence for an hour listening to Zach Brown Band on Spotify I was convicted of my childish ways. I still never lifted a paint brush but was able to do all the sweeping, mopping, cleaning needing to be done in order to set up tables and chairs. Tammy and Kelsey were there doing the rehearsal on the lawn for the ceremony and joined us in the reception hall as soon as they could. Just as I was starting to get pouty again about being hungry Mom and Nana showed up with KFC!! Fried Chicken had never tasted so good to me!
Saturday Cooper and I slept in until 11:30! Miracle!!! Obviously since Cooper is a Dog he doesn't realize which Saturdays we can sleep in till way late, so he is usually up and at em at 7:00 or sometimes 5:30. Anyway I have discovered that if I invite him to lay on the bed with me ( he usually sleeps on the floor for the first 8 hours of the night) then he will snuggle up to me and sleep in. So Saturday we did! In fact I had to wake him up to go out when I was in desperate need of some coffee at 11:30, I think he would have slept in for a lot longer. Anyway after a quick lunch with Drew we headed out to Starlight for a successful and smooth wedding!
Yesterday after catching the Yankee game on tv I went to see Mom and Nana and then Drew and I met Lane and Neeley for some dinner at BDubs. We then decided to all go bowling.
Amarillo unfortunately hasn't accepted the same enviromental laws that Abilene has, as in people can still smoke in public. It makes a bowling alley the ABSOLUTE WORST because you just reek of smoke the minute you step in there. We decided to embrace it anyway! Bowling can be the most fun in the world. My first game is always my worst, I learned this in Thailand when my teamates and I would escape the home sickness by eating Pizza Hut and go bowling. Drew however was not ready to accept this fact and a few frames into our first game he was giving me tips... totally ruining the fun. He let it go pretty quickly though upon realizing I had absolutely NO interest in bettering my game.
Last night while bowling was kind of a momentus night for Drew. Since we found out that Neeley and Lane were getting married, Neeley and I have been wondering who Lane would pick as his Best Man... he has several friends who he has known for a long time, played in bands with, gone to school with etc. that we were thinking would be a front runner. Although selfishly I think we both wanted him to pick Drew, they haven't known each other for as long, only a year and a half, but are the best of friends to one another. Being roomates they spend more time together than anyone else usually late nights after Neeley and I have already gone home to bed. I have loved their friendship they have developed. It goes far beyond being the "boyfriends" to Neeley and I and them being thrown together because of that. They truly have one another's backs and genuinely developed a real bond between one another. Anyway last night Lane decided to make it offical and ask Drew to be his Best Man. He told Neeley he would wait until the Galaxy Bowling started to make it more special. Drew was elated! I know he was a little nervous about who it would be and who I would have to "walk down the aisle" with as Neeley's Maid of Honor. He was so proud and honored to be chosen for that role. The best part is looking down the road 10, 15, 30, 60 years I know they will still be very close friends and always there for one another. It was so sweet to hear each of them tell separate people the other was his "Best Friend!"
Our friends Colton and Bailey came and met us for bowling. Fun night with great friends and family!!!
Friday night Drew and I headed straight out to Starlight after work to finish painting the reception hall and setting it up for the wedding on Saturday. I will admit I was a bit of a baby and MAY have thrown a little tantrem about having to paint. ( Yes I am 26 years old and Yes I hate painting that much!) Sweet Drew let me whine about it and act like a baby for a few minutes. As I taped the baseboards and he painted in silence for an hour listening to Zach Brown Band on Spotify I was convicted of my childish ways. I still never lifted a paint brush but was able to do all the sweeping, mopping, cleaning needing to be done in order to set up tables and chairs. Tammy and Kelsey were there doing the rehearsal on the lawn for the ceremony and joined us in the reception hall as soon as they could. Just as I was starting to get pouty again about being hungry Mom and Nana showed up with KFC!! Fried Chicken had never tasted so good to me!
Saturday Cooper and I slept in until 11:30! Miracle!!! Obviously since Cooper is a Dog he doesn't realize which Saturdays we can sleep in till way late, so he is usually up and at em at 7:00 or sometimes 5:30. Anyway I have discovered that if I invite him to lay on the bed with me ( he usually sleeps on the floor for the first 8 hours of the night) then he will snuggle up to me and sleep in. So Saturday we did! In fact I had to wake him up to go out when I was in desperate need of some coffee at 11:30, I think he would have slept in for a lot longer. Anyway after a quick lunch with Drew we headed out to Starlight for a successful and smooth wedding!
Yesterday after catching the Yankee game on tv I went to see Mom and Nana and then Drew and I met Lane and Neeley for some dinner at BDubs. We then decided to all go bowling.
Amarillo unfortunately hasn't accepted the same enviromental laws that Abilene has, as in people can still smoke in public. It makes a bowling alley the ABSOLUTE WORST because you just reek of smoke the minute you step in there. We decided to embrace it anyway! Bowling can be the most fun in the world. My first game is always my worst, I learned this in Thailand when my teamates and I would escape the home sickness by eating Pizza Hut and go bowling. Drew however was not ready to accept this fact and a few frames into our first game he was giving me tips... totally ruining the fun. He let it go pretty quickly though upon realizing I had absolutely NO interest in bettering my game.
5.03.2012
Yankee Fans
The past few weeks have been uneventfully eventful (does that make sense?)! I have just been trying to fumble my way through life that is continuously moving.
We had our first wedding of the season last weekend, and I got to take the photos for it with my new camera and I do believe they are some of the BEST ever taken!
I have been doing alot of baseball watching lately as the seaason is getting in full swing. Having played both basball and softball as a wee girl this is the only professional sport I have had any interest in watching, proabably because it is the only one I know the rules for. Last week was my favorite series of the season when the Rangers played the Yankees. It's always fun to be rooting for the odd team out, since everyone around here pulls for the Rangers, especially Drew. At the beginning of that series the Ranger's old catcher Pudge Rodriguez had a retirement ceremony. It made me instantly miss my Dad. I remember sitting in his lap high in the Arlington Ballpark Stadium seats as Pudge would come up to bat my Dad would hand me the binaculars and tell me to "watch my man." I was a Big Pudge Fan! I loved talking baseball with my Dad and it grinded his nerves as much as everyone elses' that I was a Yankees fan. But lately I have been thinking alot about why I am a Yankees fan, I mean I am from Texas for pete's sake (which is what everyone always tells me!) I get it!. Anyway as I was watching the Yankees get their butts kicked by the Oriole's last night I realized a large part of the reason I am a Yankees fan is .... my Nana.
I originally liked TheYankees because they were of course from NYC. I always wanted to live there and going to a Yankees home game is still my dream! But for as long as I can remember watching baseball with my Nana and Grandy, my Nana has rooted for the Yankees while Grandy in disgust of both of us cheered louder for the Rangers. She does root for the Rangers to win too, but there has always been a soft spot in her heart for the Bronx Bombers. I think her love for them rubbed off on me. As we sat watching their pathetic display of cometitive sportsmanship last night with disgust on both of our faces the camera swept to both of our favorite player, Derek Jeter, and as we both "awwed" over him I realized she is a huge reason that I began to be a Yankees fan. She was the first person who made me think it was OK to root for a team that was not the Rangers. So Thank you to my Nana for embracing individuality as much as me and encouraging my crush on Derek Jeter!!
We had our first wedding of the season last weekend, and I got to take the photos for it with my new camera and I do believe they are some of the BEST ever taken!
I have been doing alot of baseball watching lately as the seaason is getting in full swing. Having played both basball and softball as a wee girl this is the only professional sport I have had any interest in watching, proabably because it is the only one I know the rules for. Last week was my favorite series of the season when the Rangers played the Yankees. It's always fun to be rooting for the odd team out, since everyone around here pulls for the Rangers, especially Drew. At the beginning of that series the Ranger's old catcher Pudge Rodriguez had a retirement ceremony. It made me instantly miss my Dad. I remember sitting in his lap high in the Arlington Ballpark Stadium seats as Pudge would come up to bat my Dad would hand me the binaculars and tell me to "watch my man." I was a Big Pudge Fan! I loved talking baseball with my Dad and it grinded his nerves as much as everyone elses' that I was a Yankees fan. But lately I have been thinking alot about why I am a Yankees fan, I mean I am from Texas for pete's sake (which is what everyone always tells me!) I get it!. Anyway as I was watching the Yankees get their butts kicked by the Oriole's last night I realized a large part of the reason I am a Yankees fan is .... my Nana.
I originally liked TheYankees because they were of course from NYC. I always wanted to live there and going to a Yankees home game is still my dream! But for as long as I can remember watching baseball with my Nana and Grandy, my Nana has rooted for the Yankees while Grandy in disgust of both of us cheered louder for the Rangers. She does root for the Rangers to win too, but there has always been a soft spot in her heart for the Bronx Bombers. I think her love for them rubbed off on me. As we sat watching their pathetic display of cometitive sportsmanship last night with disgust on both of our faces the camera swept to both of our favorite player, Derek Jeter, and as we both "awwed" over him I realized she is a huge reason that I began to be a Yankees fan. She was the first person who made me think it was OK to root for a team that was not the Rangers. So Thank you to my Nana for embracing individuality as much as me and encouraging my crush on Derek Jeter!!
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