Dear Baby N

Hello little baby tadpole. You are no bigger than an orange seed right now. If we hadn't done the pregnancy pee test we would not have even known you were with us. I don't feel any different with you inside me right now.

Everyone is so excited about your expected arrival!!

Your Dad has been extra sweet since we found out the news, although he is always sweet! He likes to kiss you goodnight and goodbye in the mornings. He sometimes comes up from behind me and will talk to you for just minute or two. Right now you are so small we can't really see you so him rubbing my belly makes me feel funny, but I am learning to let him do it cause I figure you will like it once you grow your ears.

Yesterday we bought our first purchase for you... some UT booties. Your Dad loves UT and we agreed that booties were a unisex need and regadless of you being a boy or a girl you will need socks.

Your Nana is already being very protective of you. I was dancing a little crazy in the car on our way to run some errands and she told me to stop so I wouldn't rattle you to much.

We are so excited for our next Dr. Appointment so we may can see our first picture of you!

Smores over Candlelight

Sometimes you just need a smore. A good ole fashion graham cracker, marshmallow, chocolate smore.

There is a misconception that you can only have these when camping, or even outside... NOT TRUE!

I convinced my husband that a smore was the perfect ending to our Sunday a couple weeks ago and after running to the store for our supplies we lit a candle and had our smores!

The night may or may not have ended with a marshmallow toss contest with me being a total failure at catching marshmallows in my mouth!

A Father's Day Gift

Drew and I got a little surprise news on Father's Day.

He believes it is a blessing from Grandy and my Dad who were on my mind constantly that day...

I had taken a pregnancy test the day before after I started experiencing a few strange symptoms to me (because I know my brother reads this I will not go into detail!) Anyway I was sure I had taken the test wrong because it came up with a positive sign but was completely soaked in urine and I thought I just oversaturated the thing.

After a trip to Lubbock to pick up a new camera, back to Amarillo to finish some errands, we picked up another pregnancy test. The first was positive... I walked outside to Drew who was picking weeds in the front yard with one hand over my mouth and the other carrying my positive pee stick. I had been told once that you cannot have a false positive and therefore my heart was going 90 mph. Drew wasn't sure how to take the news with the shocked/scared look on my face. I rushed back inside to down Powerade and take another... positive again!

My instant reaction was to run to my Mom. We decided to wait until a Dr. could confirm the results. As I sat on the couch trying to wrap my head around the information my Mom called me. I sobbed on the phone as she said "I know this is a hard day thinking about your Dad." I wanted to scream in the phone "THAT IS NOT WHY I AM CRYING!!!" I didn't though. We hung up and I was sobbing harder than ever. Drew grabbed my hand and said ok lets go! We went over to Mom and Nana's swept them outside so I could give them the news. I don't think if I hadn't handed them two positive pregnancy tests they would have known what I said because I was crying so hard. They were both overjoyed with the news. Nana quickly set to work trying to figure out why I was crying so hard. She calmed me down. Encouraged me and we prayed all together.

We went on to spread the news to Neeley and Lane, who I think were in complete shock just like us. Then on to Aunt Tammy and Rhonda's where the excitement continued.

I have been struggling with many emotions since the news... excitement, fear, sadness, euphoria, stress, happiness. We are so grateful for the gift that God has given us with this addition to our family.

I saw the Dr. for the first time today and My due date is officially February 20th! Let the ride begin!

A glimpse

We finally got around to replanting our flower bed and we are both more pleased with it now than even before the storm that washed it all away.

This weekend was wonderful.

Quality time spent with loved ones. A day of errands, chips and salsa with Mom. A cookout dinner and ice cream date with Neeley and Lane. A Sunday spent at home with my Love. Somehow cooking and cleaning don't seem so boring when he is around.

Sometimes I am hit by the sadness that is Alzheimer's feeling victim of the changes it is making in my Mom.  I grieve for the life left we will not experience together. I grieve for the past I took for granted. Mostly I grieve for her and I miss the personality she had while I was growing up and in high school and college. I miss my friend who I could talk to about anything and count on for advice. Now I Nair her legs for her and help to guide her as she has done for me.

My husband who has been adamant in the past that "We will NEVER ever ever have a cat. Please promise me we will never get a cat." Asked me yesterday how much I thought it would cost to get a cat de-clawed. I was shocked and all I could do was stare at him trying to determine the seriousness of the question. He smiled and looked at me, "Well I just think it would make your Mom happy and she would like to come over more if we had a cat!" How did I get so blessed with this man who sees the importance of my Mom's happiness to me and genuinely cares about making her happy! He loves and adores her!

Room Renovation

When my Mom and Nana moved here to Amarillo we have worked to make sure their house is everything they wanted. They most utilized areas of the home were given prime attention, the den, the kitchen, etc. Mom's room however was sadly neglected for far to long. That all changed this past weekend!!

My Mom is used to happy, bright colors in her bedroom. She has had bright blues, and yellows before. Her room here was plain white and full of hamidown (is that a real word) furniture. When she married Gary I was gifted alot of her furniture including her bed and dressers so when she divorced him she didn't have much stuff anymore. She has been using a king size bed that was previously used by Nana and Grandy that previously belonged to Mike and Paula. The room has been very "un Molly" and has really just served as a place for her to sleep.

Last Saturday I met Aunt Tammy and Kelsey at Walmart to get paint for our 8 hour renovation. We got to Mom and Nana's house and they weren't there so we set straight to work cleaning out her room. When they finally came home we were breaking out the paint and Mom was tickled pink.

I am incredibly impressed with our quick work and big change. Mom cried. It looks much more like a place of solitude for her instead of a deep dark suck hole. I am so grateful for Aunt Tammy and Kelsey's help on their Saturday to make such a difference in Mom's room!

Happy Girl in her new Happy Room!!

Tornado Drill

I have never really been concerned when a Tornado Warning or Watch comes on the tv. It is just kind of one of those things that you learn to live with in this area of the country. However recently with the tornadoes hitting closer and closer to home, and my nievety wearing off as I get older I am realizing the warnings are something to be taken seriously.

The last time I remember taking shelter from a tornado, I was in Elementary school in Abilene. Our house was about 2 blocks from ACU's campus and the news was reporting a funnel cloud over it. My brothers, the dog and I huddled into a closet under the stairs that was crammed with our board games and vhs tapes. I remember crying as I was in their with them and looking out to see my Mom on the front porch with the neighbors "keeping watch" or really just looking for the funnel. I was terrified for my Mom.

A few nights ago Drew and I came home totally exhausted from our work days after a long weekend. We decided to go to bed early, like 8. As we settled into bed we started watching more closely the storm off to the west that was moving slowly toward us. There were of course reports of lots of hail and some funnel clouds. I couldn't sleep and stayed up for the next 3 hours watching it creep closer and closer. Finally at about 10:45 the Storm crept in close to Amarillo, with reports of tornadoes on the ground. When the weather man told "those of you in Amarillo, start collecting your valuables and preparing your 'safe places of shelter'" it was time to get serious! Drew had snoozed and awoken only when the thunder made me jump to comfort me and fall back to sleep. I grabbed our marriage certificate, my laptop and harddrive with all my photos on it, and tucked my camera into a padded and safe closet. I gathered all the pillows I could find and threw them into the bathtub with some blankets. I changed thinking, "What clothes will I want to be in if everything else is blown away" all the while my husband was asleep. I also grabbed the dog's leashes so they would be easier to handle if our house blew down around us.

When the storm starting hitting I finally woke him up. Cooper started pacing anxiously around the house. Hail the size of a ping pong ball began to beat down on our house and finally the tornado sirens went off. SCARY! I grabbed both dogs and headed for the tub. Trying to get me, them and Drew all in was a joke. We have big dogs! He decided that should a tornado hit he would jump on us like a human shield.

We listened as the hail beat down, and rain poured. The dogs were nervous and Cooper would not let me out of his sight. I think I called Nana 4 times that night, scared for them, scared for us.

Luckilly the storm blew right through town leaving only hail damage behind. I am sick about my flowerbed that I had worked so hard on that is now absolutely demolished. But I am grateful no lives were lost and all my loved ones were safe!