Very Belated Christmas... Part 2

So this month has been absolutely nuts and I have had so much going on I haven't had much time to blog... but I definitely wanted to post about Christmas before the end of January so here it is!

On December 26th Ryan, Darrah and little Peyton drove in to spend a couple of days with us. It was so much fun to have them here, we missed Paige and her entertainment, but were so very glad to have the change to spend a little Christmas with all of our family.

We spent a lot of time eating, playing games and spending time together, ohh and being entertained by Peyton. So here are pictures to show all the fun...

Peyton got a pretty pink princess castle for Christmas from Gran-Nana which she turned into a bouncy house.

All the babies loved seeing Snoozing Santa that Nana and Grandy have had for years and years.

 

 Patrick was a major hit with all the girls during our family dinners

 

We tried to go bowling one night but after waiting for a lane it was decided Peyton would be getting a little bit grumpy by the time we actually got to bowl so we just took some photos and left.

 Gran-Nana and her sweet girl.

Peyton rocking my Urban wedge boots.. she walked pretty awesome in them!

Mom reading to her little girl as we tried to get her to wind down a little bit, she then let me rock her for a little while

Peyton's real favoritest person was Drew... she feel for his teddy bear hugs

Not Alright-- Sanctus Real

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on.

Honestly, I'm not that strong.

I'm not alright... that's why I need you.

I don't understand the Lord's plans for me or why he is allowing everthing in my life to be turned upside down and right side out all at one time but I have to trust it is for a reason.

Schoolbuses and Birthdays

Everytime that I see a schoolbus I have to shut my eyes and fight back the tears.

My Dad drove a bus for the last part of his life and he absolutely LOVED it. I remember one of his first routes he called me to tell me there was a little blonde headed girl, about 6 years old, with big glasses on her face. He said she had the sweetest smile and that it reminded him of his own little Princess not so many years ago. That was one of the sweetest moments to me, I remember being sad and wondering how much he looked back on life and lost moments and if it made him as sad as it made me. But that story, that little tale was the awakening of a resart for me and wanting to rebuild that relationship that I had let anger, and judgement ruin. He also told me that there was an older boy who was wild and loved to shout and tease other kids on the bus, this kid reminded him of Ryan. That part of the story had me laughing.

I loved talking to my Dad during his day, seeing the bus trips he was driving students on, hearing the tales of mischevious little kids who would mind bus driver Tommy, and even the little kids who undoubtedly stole his heart. He loved his job. He brought so much Joy to every person he encountered on his routes. I know it wasn't necessarily what he would have dreamed to be doing but he did it 100% and with complete thanksgiving for the opportunities it provided.

So everytime I see a bus especially one with Durham School Services on the side I picture my Dad driving his bus through the streets and traffic of Keller with a big smile on his face. And then I remember he isn't there to do that any longer and the tears start to stream down my face.

I am about to have another birthday for which I am grateful to have had another year to live on this Earth although I am not at all excited about turning 26. I keep thinking that the math is off and I am only turning 25 again. It is hard to believe that my Dad is not going to be around for me to talk to on my birthday.

He used to send my cards or text me or call me on the wrong day to tell me Happy Birthday. This completely angered me... he is my Dad how could he NOT know when I was born. Then one year I sent him a Happy 50th Birthday card, called him to talk about how it felt ot be 50 to which he responded well sweetheart I turned 50 last year. I was horrified.... how could I not know how old my Dad is?! Since then I have been gratefull for the simple conversation and card that I have recieved from him and Christie knowing it is not a complete representation of the love he had for me and how proud he was to have been my Dad and shared in giving me life.

I will miss that this year. I will miss  him as I turn to face another year on this Earth knowing he is not.

Celebration of an extraordinary woman!

Today my BEAUTIFUL Mom turns #53!

She was in bright spirits this morning as Drew and I picked her up for our morning workout even though she thought she should skip today since it was of course... Her Birthday. But she came with the Joy she shares everyday and cracked me up the whole time.

(She is demonstarting to little Peyton just how the real cowgirls wear their hats.)



I am so grateful to God for giving us this day to have and to celebrate her. With the etchings of her last birthday constantly on our hearts and minds this day will be one to break the overcast shadow that has loomed for a year now. And Noone is more grateful and ready to look onward into the future than she is. She has taken the hits of this past year with Grace and Strength and coutinuously been the example to follow. Sometimes she needs reminding and encouraging but her courage is never swaying.

I truly cannot describe how PROUD I am of her. She is so much more than a Mom to me, she is my friend, my Hero, my encourager, my reason for moving forward, my strength. She is My HERO!

(This is the card I made to accompany the flowers I gave her this morning)

Happy Birthday to the most deserving person in the world! I hope this day will be a reminder of how much you are loved!

Bucket List

So the Photo a day thing majorly hit the floor the last few days. I honestly cannot tell you exactly how I have spent my days but they have been filled with craziness. Things constantly coming up. Life on the go! This weekend I did FINALLY do a little craftiness.... I had seen these Terrarium's all over Pinterest and Blogs I follow and I decided that it was the perfect thing to bring a little life into our otherwise drap entry way. Drew accompanied me to Lowe's after church Sunday morning where I got some low light/ dry plants... meaning VERY low maintenence. I put them in some glassware I had inhereited from Mom and Nana's move with some lace around the container to add some appeal. I love them. They are so precious and even go great with the Jimmy Hendrix poster living behind them.

I have been thinking ALOT about life and death lately. It seems that everwhere I turn some tragic event is happening to people around me. Kelsey lost her High School principal after a routine  knee surgery resulted in blood clot causing days on life support. A local 15 year old girl went to be with the Lord after a long battle with cancer. Sadness/ Tragedy/ Loss is everwhere.

It reminds me that I/We are not alone in our grief of losing those we love. It reminds me that this place we live is not our home but a temporary place to reside where we have lots of work to do.

Throughout all the sadness their are moments of JOY and CELEBRATION to have.. there is LIFE LEFT TO LIVE! Each day should be used as the gift it is for we are not guranteed another.

Watching my mom get up each morning to work out with Drew and I reminds me of the life she has left that should be left exploring and taking adventures. I want to plan a family trip for my brother's, mom and I to take to spend time together this year. I have also been thinking about things I want to do in my life, adventures I want to take... so Drew and I wrote a little Bucket List last night. Obviously there is so much more to add to it as we discover more and more and things to be crossed off as we accomplish them. But for now here is a peak at our Bucket List. 

"There are many wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them."  Charles D. Gill



Where you sleep

Today I present you with my bed. Yup, there it is, my safe haven from the rest of the yuckiness in the world. I am so LOVING the Yellow/Gold Flame stiched duvet I got from Urban Outfitters for only $14.99.... I know it's a STEAL! I love the bright colors it has brought into my room full of grays, browns, and turquoise.

This week has been one of hope for me. My mom started joining Drew and I in the mornings for our morning workouts. THIS IS HUGE! I am so proud of her because she has been incredibly positive about it and getting up at 5:30am when you absolutely don't have to is just plain hard but she has done it for the past couple of days. It is documented that daily exercise is a great way to keep your mind active and help offset some of the disease.

I also found an article today about Coconut Oil and Alzheimer's disease. I am not good at the specific medical jargan of it all but it is supposed to "reverse" some of the effects of cells dying in the brain. I went straight to the health food store after work and bought some, drove over to Mom and Nana's and told Mom to close her eyes as I gave her a spoonful. I didn't try it first ans it was straight solid waxy oil, it reminded me of a harder version of Crisco. Needless to say she spit it right out. I melted some down while she was throwing out the trash and put some in her Diet Coke because in a liquid state is completely clear and just has a nice coconut flavor. I don't think she realized for a while, she kept taking sips of her coke like normal till she saw the goofy look on my face and  I took a drink of it. Anyway I know that it is absolutely NOT a guarantee of any sorts but with this disease all we have right now are trials and errors. I think she is just a little hesitate of it all right now.

Tomorrow could be a VERY big day for me... only The Lord knows what is in his plan but I am excited at what may be waiting in my future. I really wish I could call my Dad tonight and tell him about it and get his words of wisdom. He always gave me confidence in myself. Possible update to come :)


On a totally different note: my best friend's grandmother , Mimi, is in the hospital in Georgia... this is a LOONNNGGG way from home and she is not doing the best right now. I just ask that anyone who reads this would say a little prayer for her. Whitney, my friend, is away being a missionary in Africa right now and I know is struggling with not being close to her family during this time so pray for her too please. Mimi reminds me so much of Grandy. she is 92 years young and teaches people about Jesus EVERYWHERE she goes. Apparently she has already converted a nurse while being in the hospital. She is one amazing woman!

Day 10: Childhood

I was a little conflicted with what to do for this photo. I thought about dragging out some old childhood photos of cutesy little Meg from her younger days. Then I thought maybe some photos one of my bestest friends from our days of being Awesome in High School.

But then it hit me! My most FAVORITEST toys from my Childhood years, American Girl Dolls, were sitting up in my closet only recently being given back to my care from my Mom who has been keeping close tabs on them since I moved out of her house.

I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world to own these American Girl Dolls. I had 3 and they went EVERYWHERE with me. We had matching outfits and accessories. I would read to them and sleep with them. We would camp out together in our matching sleeping bags. We would even convine for meetings with my cousins and their American Girl Dolls.

When my Mom moved here it was time for me to take responsibility of my own childhood toys and I brought them home with me. Immediately I opened up their cases and redressed them, brushed their hair, and sorted through all the clothes and accessories I had for my friends. Something kinda funny struck me though as I took a look at the 3 dolls I just HAD TO HAVE when I was younger...

The first American Girl Doll I recieved, who was hand selected by myself, was named Molly. I choose her specifically for her name and the fact that she wore glasses. The perfect combination of my Mom and Myself. My third doll was a "create your own." Most little girls I am sure "created" their dolls to look just like them, I however created mine with red hair to look like my mom and named her the first "M" name I could think of... Marissa.  As a young girl and even now I wanted to be just like my mom. She is my Hero!

My second doll was Addy, an African-American slave girl from Mississippi. As I stared at her at her for the first time in 10 years it dawned on me that from even in my early childhood years I have always wanted to adopt an African little girl. That passion and desire is still very strong in my heart and I know one day it will happen. So strange the things that you do as a child that bring meaning to your adulthood dreams.

Slight case of the Mondays

Today was Busy Busy Busy BUSY at work. Lots of prollys to take care of however I got my mom signed up for the Gym today so she can start going with us in the mornings. It is proven that daily exercise can help slow the dementia process... so YAY BIG STRIDES in the war against Alzheimer's today. We are going to start picking her up at 6 am to go with us.

So back to the photo challenge....

Day 8: Your Sky

One of the best things about living in West Texas is the vastness of the wide open sky. Driving back from Christmas with Drew's dad we got to see the most unbelievable sunset with an array of colors.

The fading of yellows to pinks to blue, white and gray was breathtaking. I couldn't help but think that Grandy and my Dad were watching over us giving us a beautiful view as we drove back to Amarillo.

And just for fun a photo that I snapped of train coming toward us. I love watching the trains on the open plains out here... such a Texas image to me.

Day 9: Daily routine

So my new daily routine as of the past 6 days is working out in the mornings. I cannot describe the difference it makes in me daily, from energy to self esteem to positive outlook it is totally worth waking up super duper earlier for.

Here is my cool awesome Air Max sneaker on the treadmill this morning.... gotta keep the motivation alive!

 

I also snapped my other new daily routine... I got a Keurig for Christmas and let me just say my life is changed forever! I hated making coffee before this. It took so long to do, so many silly steps but with this it is so amazingly simple and I am forever in love. I am also double sure to get my coffee in the morning since it too is proven to help offset the risk of getting Alzheimer's disease. Thank you SANTA!!

 

It might be in my bathroom right now because our kitchen is overpopulated with gadgets already and I spend most of my time in the bathroom in the morning, so it works out great! 

Millie

This was a very sad weekend for us... we had to have Millie, our fox terrier mix of 17 years put to sleep. She has been a faithful and loving dog to our family through many many changes. I would look at Millie sometimes in the midst of complete chaos and thing that atleast she is a solid reminder of what used to be and what our family is about.

She had lived a very long life and in the past couple of years age has gotten to her but she was a fighter! Even after the loss of an eye and near complete deafness she was a sweet companion for my mom. She loved to get treats from Nana, the night before she was whining for more popcorn out of Nana's hands.

She will truly be missed, I guess life does keep moving and changing. After all the death I have experienced you would think it would get easier but with each loss it hits harder and harder.

We will miss you sweet Millie!

Friday Funday

So today was Crazy busy day at work. We were a man down and everyone wanted to bother me with insurance question. Nevertheless... I made it through to
What was supposed to be a nice, slow- paced, relaxing weekend but I'm afraid it will be filled with drama.

Moving on I realized I was 3 days behind in my photo- challenge so I am catching up...

4. letterbox

This is a mailbox my mom had in her house in Abilene that I Always Always loved and ended up inheriting it when she moved. It holds all my cards at work. Notice my SAWEET faux aquarium Aunt Charlotte and Doss gave m for Christmas. The fish actually swim around! The itty bitty globe is a pencil sharpener and it along with the lead elephant beside it belonged to my Great Grandmother.

5. Something I wore

I am a HUGE fan of Gold for those of you who don't know. I have had this gold watch for a couple of years now and for Christmas Drew gave me this Beautiful sparkly gold chain bracelet. He did such a good job! I also saw this tutorial on a blog of how to make these hex link bracelets and gave it a shot. Mine is tied on so I wear it every day, I also made some for my close girlfriends here.

6. Something that makes me smile

I have a potentially HUGE change in the works that would be the most unbelievable blessing in my life. I got this fortune in a fortune cookie yesterday and it makes me smile. It says" Star light Star Bright Your wish will come true tonight." It didn't come true that night but maybe a near future night it will. I couldn't get my phone to get a clear picture, sorry it completely out of focus.


Hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend!

Never Forget!

Christmas Part 1

Today's photo challenge is to post "Something I love"... SO I am going to post pictures of Christmas because I LOVED this Christmas.

With the extra special extra hard work of a very special elf, we had a Traditional Christmas.

The past years Christmas has not been what it used to be. Honestly that was one of the first signs to me I knew something was wrong with my Mom but then add overbearing step-dad into the mix and his children and you get a Christmas that was not like what we had growing up. I had come to accept the fact that we are all grown-ups now and Christmas just would be this way until we started families of our own. Think Again!
Last year was extremely hard having been 14 days after Grandy's death. This year it came 25 days after my Dad's death and I did not have big hopes for it.

However this Christmas surpassed my expectations. We had family time, mom had all of her children here at one time. We had our Christmas traditions back. We had a Christmas day meal. We were abundantly blessed.

This is Mom, Patrick and I in our Christmas PJ's and below is us with Nana and our amazing elf Aunt Tammy.

Aunt Tammy sent Patrick and I to "our side" of the house at ohh about 9:30. Drew was there with me since we had just come back from visiting his family in Pampa so Patrick, Drew and I were holed up in a room playing Mario Kart and Wheel of Fortune on the Wii.

For the first Christmas in years Patrick and I awoke before 9 am. My phone went off at 6:15is with a Merry Christmas message from Christie who was celebrating with her family in Virginia. It was a sweet reminder of love and my dad. Patrick came in and woke me up at 7 (yes I absolutely fell back asleep after reading her text.) Part of me felt this is WAY to early to get up but the excited litle girl part who couldn't wait to see what Santa had left won over. We turned on lights in Mom and Nana's formal living room, started coffee and began yelling for them to wake up, for us to actually get to their room we would have had to go through the living room where Santa left us presents and that is a huge No No! After a few minutes of yelling Nana's snow village lit up and I told Patrick "we got her." Nana was awake. We waitied on Charlotte and Doss to come over and scurried into the living room like a bunch of elementary school kids.

The presents weren't what was important... we were taken grip with the magic of Christmas, the magic of Jesus' birth and the love of family.

Mom snuggled up in her chair watching Patrick and I go through our stockings.

Patrick in his new Cowboy's beanie showing off his new boot tray (he thought it was a serving tray.)

Aunt Charlotte and Doss came over to spend Christmas morning with us. They were bundled on the couch with Nana and the dogs of course.  It was so much fun to have them there for the second year in a row, I believe we have a new tradition!

 

Nana got a very special present from Aunt Paula, she collected some of Grandy's old shirts and made them into a  quilt. It was a very awesome and emotional present to open. She also made aprons for the sisters out of his shirts, so awesome!

 

Drew, Patrick and Mom waiting for dinner on Christmas day-night. We had a great brisket prepared by Nana complete with Monterrey rice.

The twins were in town to have Christmas with their family, it was so nice to be able to have a BIG family meal on Christmas. I cannot remember the last time that we were all together on Christmas, such a great time!!

 

One of the most special parts of Christmas was that it snowed ALL day long and into the next day. It was so beautiful and such blessing to have a White Christmas.

Christmas day made me so grateful for the family I have in my life and the abundant love. I found myself thinking about my Dad constantly how much I wanted to call him to wish him a Merry Christmas, I would text his phone in the moments of sadness trying to feel a connection but I knew he was celebrating the birth of our lord and savior in the presence of him alongside my Grandy and that made me smile.

I will have more from Christmas coming soon!

Breakfast & Cinnamon Nuts

Day 2 of Photo Challenge, a photo of Breakfast. I forgot to take a photo of my hard boiled eggs (and boy wouldn't that be fun to see) but here is a photo of my coffee.

Over Christmas I was stumbling around on Pinterest and found this easy peasy recipe for Cinnamon Toasted Nuts. You know the ones that smell AMAZING and taste even better! I decided to try out a little batch for Kelsey, she LOVES them, for her birthday. They were a hit (not so much with her cause she is a health nut) SO I decided to package up a few and sell them. I sold every bag I made and then decided to take some over to Drew's familys houses as favors. Rhonda LOVED them so I made her a cool jar of them for Christmas.

Anyway the recipe is so easy and takes about 5 minutes for 3 cups of nuts.

They have been such a fun little treat to make this Holiday Season! Happy Wednesday to all!!