Heartbroken.

My alarm went off at 5:45 this morning to go workout with Drew but instead I hit snooze for thirty minutes. At 6:29 I received a call from Christie and was still in to much of a sleep mode to realize what was going on. When I finally realized she had called, my heart sank. I knew there was no good news to come from that call. I called Drew first and told him about her call, to scared to face it alone. He talked me into enough courage to call her back... The news I have been dreading for a long time was finally true.

My sweet dad passed away this morning.

It was fast and rather unexpected, when God calls his followers home there is little left for us to do. Apparently the nurse came in to give him his morning medication at 4am and dad complained of being nauseas. She provided him with a cup to spit in should he need it and he began to vomit. He started to aspirate and it happened to fast for the code team to do anything.

Today I am completely sick with heartache for him! He called me on Monday and told me he hopes I had had a good day because he had! Such encouraging words from him and I am so glad to know that was how he spent that day, and to be able to hear the smile in his voice.

What I know is that my dad never met a stranger, he never complained, he greeted everyone with a smile and spread joy to all he encountered. He was a loved man by all who met him but especially by Christie, I will never be able to express my gratitude for her and her love and devotion for my father.

I know that Dad had his heart in a place of knowing his relationship with God was what mattered in life. He knew he was in the hands of our creator and was blessed by that! I believe that Grandy was at the gates to a meet his long lost son this morning with a round of "This is the Day."

I miss him terribly already!

thankful.

Today is the International Day to be Thankful, and there is so much in my life for me to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my incredible FAMILY and their support system.

I am so thankful for  Drew and his unconditional love.

I am very thankful to have a roof over my head.

I am thankful for Cooper and that he is finally calming down.

I am unbelievably thankful for a God who is bigger than everyone and everything else and who loves me unconditionally.

I am thankful for the hope that I have that things will get better eventually.

I am so thankful for my friends, although some are scattered to Africa they all bless my life each day.

I am thankful for my Mom who pushes herself each day and never fails to show her love.

I am thankful for my brothers who are thriving in their own lives.

I am thankful for my sister in the room next door who is flourishing in her creativity every day.

I am thankful for my Dad who is fighting each day to get up and get better.

I am thankful for Kelsey who is the most positive person in my life and shows her love every single day.

I am thankful for Aunt Tammy who keeps tradition alive and reminds us of the importance of family.

I am thankful for Nana who keeps Grandy's memory alive each and every single day with her love.


Today is a reminder to count our blessings and treasure them all!

Weekend Getaway

Last weekend Drew, Lane, Neeley and I went to Dallas! It was a much much needed getaway. We were all generously rewarded for our help moving Mom and Nana from Abilene to Amarillo. Of course none of us needed a reward... we are all just so Happy to have them here but it was so amazingly sweet of them to do.

We got in late on Friday night after a little car trouble, some bad moods (yes I had one of them), and some dinner in Clarendon, TX. Saturday morning we were prepared to sleep in but Neeley woke up super duper early, I am talking 8 on a Saturday is WAY early for me. But we all got up and with it. Lane and Neeley dropped Drew and I off at the hospital my Dad is in to visit with him for a couple of hours. It was a good visit. I was happy to see where he is now, there is comfort in being able to picture where he is. I was excited to get to give him his birthday present even though it was a week early. I have been a neglectful daughter the past years on his birthday presents.

Anyway, we went to Southlake Town Center after the hospital. I was craving me some Louisiana Chicken Pasta from this amazing place...

And it was every bit AMAZING as I remember from Vegas. We left there again without getting Cheescake, How this is possible I have no  idea! But neither Drew nor Neeley were very happy about it.

Patrick met us for dinner and came to hang out with us afterwards.

Patrick looks SO TALL compared to Drew and I! I don't know why we didn't get a group picture but here we are and Neeley and Lane are below.

We were pretty lame-o after dinner and just went and chilled after. The oldest bunch of twenty-year-olds you could ever meet! I think we about bored Patrick to death.

They guys had a big day the next day though, As their little gift for being super awesome Nana, Mom, and Aunt Tammy got Drew, Lane and Patrick tickets to see the Dallas Cowboys. This was HUGE to them! Drew has never been to a game at the new stadium, Lane has never been to a NFL game, and Patrick just loves everything Dallas Cowboys. The game was at noon and they got up and left at 9:30 to make sure they had time to walk around and explore the staduim.

They are so freaking sweet! Drew and Lane both got themselves new Cowboy's hats at the stadium.  Truly I cannot think of a better way to have thanked them for their help. They were in heaven!

Meanwhile... Neely and I were on a shopping mission! We drove from Ft. Worth to Downtown Dallas to hit up Urban Outfitters and were waiting at the door when they opened for the day.

 

 It was our lucky day! Urban was having a 50% off their Sale items that day. In all the time Neeley or I have been shopping at Urban we have never ever seen them do this so we were pretty Stoked to say the least. I have never found so many clothes there that fit in my life. and if you know Urban you know their Sale items are as awesome as their new clothes. 

We did all we could at the Urban in Mockingbird Station and were headed to H&M in Northpark mall along with Forever 21 when we found another Urban in that mall and had to do some damage there as well. It was such a great shopping trip for us! We even saw local celebrity from Most Eligible Dallas on Bravo, Glenn Pakulak shopping there!

It was such a fun and relaxing trip and I cannot Thank My Mom, Nana, and Aunt Tammy enough for it!

COME TO ME, and rest in My Peace. My Face is shining upon you, in rays of Peace Transcending understanding.

Philipians 4:6-7

Driving with Mom

Ever since I was in High School my mom has super fun little cars. She had a pearl white Mitsubishi Eclipse convertable that I would try to take out on Friday nights with my friends. We would usually end up with her driving and us in the back seat at Sonic or something with the top down. In College she got a pearl white convertable PT Cruiser that she would run around town in (I don't like PT cruisers but that was definitely the coolest one there was!) Then mom got a pearl white VW Beetle covertable (are you seeing the trend yet?!!)  that she would whisk around town in. We would take it out on Spring Saturdays with the top down for a little shopping adventure after meeting Nana and Grandy at the Dixie Pig. Last year mom got a ...wait for it... BLACK VW Eos Convertable (of course) for her to drive. She said she just loves to drive something with the wind blowing through her hair. I have Always ALWAYS loved spending days riding around with my mom in her cars. She has always loved to drive. When I am not with her I have this vision of her whipping about town in her little car jamming to some music and on a nice day with her top down. (The car's not hers... although with her you never know!)

This week mom went back to see the Dr. in Dallas who diagnosed her with Dementia. Over all the appointment was pretty good, However he did tell her that she can no longer drive her car. She has been really heartbroken about it and I have too! It seems like a step in the completely wrong direction. She can't drive?! That's ridiculous my mom LOVES to drive her car. I keep thinking that surely if the Dr.  KNEW how much she loved to drive he would change his mind. I am sad for her. I am hearbroken for her.

I just made contact with the Alzheimer's association to get her involved, to get her an outlet out of the house, to give her something to do during the day and now she can't drive herself there. My mom is 52 and 11 month's and can no longer drive her car. Something is very wrong with this!

She is an Incredible Woman!

 

I cannot think of a better scripture to describe my Amazing Aunt Tammy. She may not "laugh" at the future but she stands up and faces it knowing God is by her side.

I can absolutely say without a doubt that I am the person I am today because of her! 

She is so much more than an Aunt to me and I know she will ALWAYS be there for me to run to.

I am so grateful for her and blessed by her wisdom every single day. I could never begin to explain the depth of what she means to me and the love I have for her.

I want to wish her an Incredibly Happy Birthday because she deserves nothing but the absolute best!

Never forget!

17 year old Angel

She ALWAYS has a smile on her face.

She loves UNCONDITIONALLY.

She is LOYAL to everyone.

She makes me strive to be a BETTER person just to be worthy of her presence.

She looks at life as a GIFT.

She TOUCHES everyone who gets to be around her.

She is BEAUTIFUL.

She embodies what it means to be JOYFUL.

She OVERCOMES challenges with grace.

She loves the SIMPLE things.

She is PROUD of who she is and whose she is.

She likes ROUTINE.

She eats sugar CAUTIOUSLY.

She has a KIND heart.

She is PROTECTIVE of those she loves.

She loves PINK.

She is God's GIFT to us!

Today this Sweet Miracle Angel of our turned 17!

She impacts my life every single day and I LOVE and ADORE her!

Happy Birthday to Kelsey... the LOVE OF MY LIFE!!

Hating it.

I sat in Red Lobster tonight across from my Mom watching as she cried because she could not remember what she likes to eat there. She got frustrated at trying to remember what it was and tired of people trying to help her so she told the waiter she wasn't eating. She sat there and I could see the fear, and sadness mixed with frustration and anger all over her face. I sat feeling helpless as she was not interested in any help at that moment. I let tears roll down my face as I thought how wrong this is. She should not have to go through this.... not at her age! Not yet! Last night she seemed so angered so easily, so un-interested in what was going on around her, so not like my mother. I was told it is just a phase of the disease and that she would come through it but I realized it is progressing, it is tearing her apart and I don't know how to stop it. I don't know what to do it make it better, easier for her, for me. I hate the feeling of being completely out of control and so unable to help her. I hate it! I Hate what it's doing to her!

Halloween Party

For Halloween we had a little party at our house with our friends. We were super excited to pass out candy to little trick or treaters. There is something about the spirit of Halloween that even at 25 it is still fun to dress up and even though I didn't go trick or treating had just as much fun eating good food with my friends in our costumes and handing out candy at the front door.

Here is the outside of our house. Aunt Tammy wasn't using their Halloween decorations this year since they just moved so she let us use them. A Black light, some flashing lights (one of which makes creepy witch sounds), a trick or treat sign, a fog machine that was a dud, and Christmas lights to add a little bit of bright cheer. Oh and a Creepy Mummy in the doorway.

We kept our door open and were dying for kids to come to our house but since we live on a cul-de-sac and not many of our neighbors were participating we did not get a lot of traffic. Of course the kids that did come were to scared to come to the doorway, might have had something to do with these two creepers...

 

Drew and Lane had complained about their costumes the night before and just hours earlier but as soon as they realized they were a little bit scary to kids they were eating it up! Drew would stand still against the wall while the kids walked by scared to death and he would just move his head at them. Lane would silently follow kids around the block with his hands behind his back. When the trick or treaters hit a total lull they would go stand on the street corner under lights to scare people.

We had so much candy we were practically begging kids to come get some, handing it out on the street to anyone interested. We still have so much it will probably show up in some Christmas stockings.

We had a festive little arrangement and lots of yummy food to keep us occupied for the night.

I made these white chocolate bones I found on Pinterest. So festive and SO easy, I got stick pretzels and large marshmallows from the Dollar Tree, some white chocolate to dip them in and you have this tasty little treat.

I also tried my first shot at Sausage balls, also a recipe found on Pinterest, such an easy snack and incredibly delicious! Definitely be making these again.

Neeley made these jalepeno cream cheese crossiant bites that were so stinking good!

Brandais made these super cute cake bites that looked like eye balls and she made some chocolate peanut butter ones that I loved!

Aunt Tammy gave me this awesome Edgar Alan Poe Poem book in my Halloween basket, yes I get a Halloween basket because my Aunt is AMAZING! I hope it never stops, not even when I have kids of my own :) Anyway the book was so cool and creepy looking I stuck it on the coffee table as decoration for the night.

What a pair! I am not sure what either of us really were but we were happy to be hanging out together.

I got this idea to make a Butterfly headpiece from Martha Stewart. I wasn't planning on really dressing up I just thought it would be fun to have a cool head piece.

Here was my inspiration...           




 

I really liked the look so I went to Hobby Lobby and Michaels and bought a ton of Butterflies with coupons and added some Dollar Tree glitter to spice them up to make my headpiece.

I was reallyhappy with how it turned out although it was really heavy in my hair. I did end up getting butterfly wings to wear with it. Max kept calling me Mother Nature and Kelsey called me a Social Butterfly so I'm not quite sure what it was. But now I have all the butterflies to use on a spring wreath!

Here are all of us that dressed up: Drew as Scarecrow Scream Ghost, Me as butterfly queen or whatever, Lane as the Grim Reaper, Neeley as a Mummy, Brandais as a Pirate, and Brent as a 300 Spartan.

Neeley did my makeup and hers and did an AMAZING job at them! We had so much fun together. We also took time to draw for Secret Santa for Christmas while we were all together. Another fun Party to have in December!

There is a Zoo in the middle of town!

Saturday, after I slept in till a ridiculous hour, I jaunted on over to my mom's house and somehow talked her into going to Sam's with me for Dog bones. (They have good rawhides, like 20 of them for only $10, Unbeatable!) Anyway, she like a sweet mom agreed and Kelsey came to keep us company. On our way Kelsey was telling us about a "zoo" that was set up in the TJMAXX parking lot. Always a sucker for some wild animals we drove by and would you believe there was a Free mini zoo set up right in the middle of the TJMAXX parking lot! NUTZ!

 

 

It wasn't all FREE to see of course, they had to make money somewhere and it was seeing the white tiger. We walked around and looked at the Bengal Tiger, some monkeys, lion cubs, goats, llamas, and a cow (yes that's right... a Cow, right next to the lion cubs) and then I convinced Mom and Kels it was time to go. As we were walking a way and Mom started weeping at the animals, I grabbed my wallet and paid the $3.00 for us all to see the White Tiger... the look on her face made it all worth it! (You will have to trust me on that since I didn't get any photos of her face)

 

Kelsey was loving it too!

I cannot imagine not believing in a God, especially when you have the chance to see such rare and beautiful animals, all unique in their own right and serving a specific and crucial part to our Earth. It was such a fun little Saturday adventure!

And finally, Proof that my own special unique animal is maturing... I snuck this photo of Cooper as he slept by my bed. 

 He has been sleeping there no problems for the past 3 nights. I am one proud mama!